Hi, welcome back to the Sabby Psychologist Podcast. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and every

week I'll help you meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

We'll use the best of psychology to help you be happy, healthy, and most importantly,

yourself.

Many of us on hearing the recent news coverage about Ray Rice, Greg Hardy and Ray McDonald have thought, how could anyone do that what was he thinking but it

turns out that the truth about what goes through an abusive man's head is not what

you'd expect so as you well know I'm a mental health professional, but while

researching this podcast I admit that some of my own assumptions about abusive

relationships were overturned. Therefore, this week specifically for women in relationships with the Ray Rice's of the world,

here are six myths about abusive men.

Prepare to be surprised.

Myth number one, his previous wife to be surprised.

Myth number one, his previous wife or girlfriend hurt him or cheated on him so he's

acting out because of what she did to him.

Fact, abusers blame everyone except themselves.

Abusive men almost always bad mouth their past partners.

He'll convince you that his previous girlfriend or ex-wife is full of lies or that she's out to get him. However, listen closely to the phrasing that he uses.

He might blame her for having him arrested, taking the children away from him, or she didn't let me have any space.

He's putting himself in the victim role.

Also, if he claims an ex-partner cheated on him, he'll often say he just knew or everybody knew that she was cheating, but ask him for details

and you'll likely get a vague story or find he was jumping to conclusions.

But blaming his ex creates a reason for you to justify why he's hitting you.

...