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Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy

025: Ask David — How do you handle a patient you don't like (or who bores you)?

Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy

David Burns, MD

Clinical, Therapy, Anxiety, Psychotherapy, Depression, Health & Fitness, Cognitive, Mentalhealth, Mental Health, Behavior, Education, Self-improvement, Psychology, Relationships, Addiction, Happiness, Personalgrowth

4.4856 Ratings

🗓️ 27 February 2017

⏱️ 38 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

David answers these questions: How do you deal with a patient (or friend) who is boring? How do you deal with a patient (or friend) you don’t like? How do you get patients to do their psychotherapy homework?

  1. How do you deal with a patient (or friend) who is boring? David describes a technique he learned from a mentor, Dr. Myles Weber, during his second year of psychiatric residency at Highland Hospital in Oakland. The technique works instantly 100% of the time, and is guaranteed to make any boring interaction with any patient instantly exciting! David and Fabrice emphasize that the same technique can be used with a friend, colleague, or loved one who seems boring, including someone you are dating and can’t seem to connect with at anything other than a superficial level.David also describes powerful, shocking and illuminating experiences he had when attending psychodrama marathons sponsored by the Human Institute in Palo Alto during his medical school years, and what he learned about the differences between the off-putting “outer” selves we display to others and the more genuine “inner” selves we often try to hide.
  2. How do you deal with a patient (or friend) you don’t like? David describes a method he always used with patients he didn’t like, including one who he found intensely offensive—even disgusting. He explains that the patients he disliked the most almost always became the ones he liked the most, and ended up feeling the closest to, once he used this radical technique. The technique can also be effective with friends or colleagues you’re at odds with.Fabrice reminds us that the approaches David describes in this podcast involve several of the Five Secrets of Effective Communication discussed in previous podcasts. He warns us that they require considerable training, skill and practice, and are likely to backfire if done crudely.
  3. How do you get patients to do their psychotherapy homework? Every therapist who assigns psychotherapy homework is keenly aware that many patients, perhaps most, “forget” or simply refuse to do the homework. And these are the patients who don’t improve much, if at all. Dr. Burns explains how he tried dozens of techniques that didn’t work early in his career, and finally discovered an approach that was almost always effective.

 

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello and welcome to the Feeling Good podcast.

0:12.4

I am your host, Fabrice Knight.

0:14.7

And joining me here in the Murrieta Studios is Dr. David Burns.

0:19.0

Hi, David.

0:20.0

Hi, Fabrice.

0:23.8

Dr. David Burns has been a pioneer in the development of cognitive therapy, and he is the creator of the new team therapy. He is the author of

0:30.2

Feeling Good, which has sold over 5 million copies in the United States, and has been translated into

0:35.5

over 20 languages.

0:43.0

He is an emeritus adjunct clinical professor of psychiatry at the Stanford University School of Medicine.

0:44.4

We're going to do a mini podcast this time and just before we started, David was mentioning something that made me puzzled. And David asked me,

1:00.9

so what do you do when you're with somebody with whom you're bored? Well, that's a good question.

1:11.8

And actually, it doesn't have to be a patient, can be anyone.

1:16.2

Yeah, it often comes up in dating situations,

1:18.8

and it often comes up in clinical situations as well.

1:22.4

And by the way, we're just taking a break from our anxiety series.

1:26.2

We have many more cool podcasts on various ways of treating

1:31.4

anxiety, but we're just going to give a little change of pace today and do one of our Ask

1:38.0

David series. So first we'll talk about how do you deal with someone who's boring and then how

1:46.0

do you how would a therapist deal with the patient you don't like. Yeah that too, yes.

1:51.0

Maybe because they're boring. Right. And part of the underlying philosophy here is that a lot of relationship problems come up because we

2:05.7

on one level or another blame blame the other person yes rather than looking at our own role

2:14.5

in the problem and what we can do to change the dynamic.

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