The depth of your dream.

Some truth leaders have compared it to being diabetic or an alcoholic or something.

And that's really not a fair comparison.

It would be like talking to someone, say, who's heterosexual, be like saying,

what if you were forced? What if your church and your society forced you to have affections for a man?

And you had no choice. You had to keep up that front. You had to have sexual relations with them.

You had to enjoy it. And you did that and you were forced to do that for 25 years.

And then you come to a point where you say, you know, this isn't right. It's wrong.

It's wrong to ask this of any human being. It's abusive to ask it and to ask it of myself.

And that's the best comparison I can come up with because it is really as parallel.

If you're to put yourself in that position.

So here's one thing that I saw a broke back mountain. My wife and I saw it and we loved it.

Here's this movie where these two guys, it isn't really clear in the movie whether they had had any gay relationships before they met.

But they clearly are off tending the sheep in a summer in the mountains and they have a relationship.

And then Wamp Bam, you know, after the summer's over, the year's over, the guys go and get married and have kids.

And they're able to be intimate with their wives and they have children.

It does show the anxiety and the sadness that they have. But they're able to.

And one thing that I think our listeners would love to understand, and I don't know if there's an easy answer for this.

But if I were on the Kinsey scale, I'd probably be a zero. If society told me, I would tell myself this.

That if society were to tell me, John, you have to sleep with men and marry men and stay married to them over 25 years.

I'm thinking I would either run away or kill myself. But I would physically not be capable of doing that.

So if we turn that analogy back, how would you explain to somebody how you were able to do that 25 years?

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