Hi, I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson, and this is episode 13 of the savvy psychologist.

I'll help you meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

We'll use the best of psychology to help you be happy, healthy, and most importantly,

yourself.

We are ninjas at avoiding potential conflict. We email a coworker when we should just walk down the hall. We break off a relationship with a text.

We feel relieved when voicemail picks up and we don't have to talk to an actual person.

We generally do everything short of pointing out a shiny object and making

a break for it. But a touchy subject doesn't have to equal conflict. The idea for this week's

podcast comes from Andrea G. a listener and a nurse who asked on the

Savvy Psychologist Facebook page how to address tough issues with patients like a bad

diagnosis or DNR or do not necessitate. So here are 13 tips for approaching tough conversations.

In addition you can go to quick and dirty tips.com slash savvy hyphen psychologist for four bonus scripts of what to say in

sensitive situations.

Tip number one, start with the same goal.

This is the fundamental rule.

We've talked about unified detachment on the podcast before

and it's never more important than in a tough conversation.

Unified detachment means reframing the conflict, so rather than you versus your opponent, it's

the two of you against the problem.

So before you approach the person you need to talk with, think of a goal you can both get behind, so the conversation is win-win.

For example, when talking to a bully's mom, say, we both want to help Jimmy and Jackson get back on track.

Not, you need to call off your pit bull of a kid lady.

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