Hi, welcome to this week's house call doctor. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson,

host of the newest podcast on the Quick and Dirty Tips Network, the Savvy Psychologist.

Starting in mid-January, I'll bring you the best of staying happy and healthy.

From how to conquer fear of flying to sticking to your New Year's resolution.

Plus, I'll answer your mental health questions from mild to wild.

So thanks to Dr. Madge for letting me guest host her show this week.

Today, we'll talk about a perennial question what to say to someone

with cancer. Because when a friend or loved one is diagnosed with cancer, the

right words can be hard to come by. The good news is you can't go wrong with heartfelt

authenticity. Your loved one is still the same person. Simply treat him or her

as such. But for some extra guidance, here are some ideas for what to say and tips on what to avoid.

Memoirs, books and blogs by cancer patients and survivors abound, often including horror stories of

insensitive comments that were meant well, but came out the wrong way.

Things like other people have it worse, or all you have to do is cut out sugar, or worst, I love that wig on you.

From the fertile ground of awkward comments has sprung many an online guide to what not to say.

Unfortunately, many are sarcastic and downright mean to well intentioned but awkward individuals

trying their best to help loved ones with cancer.

To put this right, let's condense all the well-meant but inept comments into one pretend

person.

We'll call her our bumbling buddy.

She's fundamentally kind but often misses the mark. We'll

take a sympathetic look at what's behind our bumbling buddy's awkward phrases and

...