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Simon Mayo's Confessions

Zip a dee doo dah & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Comedy

4.91.3K Ratings

🗓️ 13 February 2026

⏱️ 46 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the crew for a week caught between Valentine’s Day love and Friday-the-13th superstition.

First up: Litmus relives the childhood horror of £40 Caterpillar boots that “mysteriously” shrank on a seaside stroll in Bray… until mum discovers the real culprit still stuffed inside.

Then Jane’s triumphant jeans-buying trip goes spectacularly wrong when a stubborn zip traps her lacy knickers — and she makes a panicked dash that leaves an unforgettable “freebie” on the shop floor.

Plus: Cliff’s smart-speaker chaos accidentally orders Blue’s greatest hits, and Rachel’s free Waitrose latte turns into a windy, foamy car-park crime.

Got a confession? Send it to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

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1:20.6

What's on TV? The answer is a lot. There's never been more choice ever what to put on the box with an abundance of great new shows, but you can miss them all if you don't know where to look. And that's where the Pilot TV podcast comes

1:31.5

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1:36.0

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1:40.7

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1:44.4

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1:47.2

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1:51.3

A Rayo Original podcast.

1:54.5

Step into our confessional.

1:56.4

Confess all.

...

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