Zakiya Used to Be So Fun
Proxy with Yowei Shaw
Yowei Shaw
4.8 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 15 July 2025
⏱️ 42 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The case of the people person who fell out of love with people.
Zakiya Gibbons used to love strangers, nightlife, and somehow always ending up on a boat.
Then lockdown happened. And somewhere in that solitude, Zakiya discovered something alarming: she loved being alone. And when the world opened back up, the things that used to light her up — parties, small talk, new people — made her anxious instead.
Zakiya wants to know: is this just who she is now? Or can she get back to the open, exuberant, people-loving version of herself?
In this episode, Yowei finds Zakiya a proxy: personality researcher Bill Chopik, who studies how people change over time. Together, they investigate whether personality is fixed, what it takes to change, and how to know when you’re honoring who you are versus accidentally becoming someone you don’t want to be.
From the episode:
— Zakiya Gibbons — on Instagram @zak_sauce — more of her work: www.zakiyagibbons.com
— Dr. William Chopik — studies relationships and personality — more about his research: www.chopiklab.com, Bluesky @Chops310, X @Chops310
New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Caitlin Lost the Voice In Her Head for a story about. losing access to a part of yourself you thought was permanent.
For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | As somebody with social anxiety, I just didn't realize that you could develop it. |
| 0:05.6 | I didn't either. I didn't either, bitch. |
| 0:16.4 | Hey, everybody. Welcome to Proxy. I'm Yo-A. Shaw, your emotional investigative journalist. |
| 0:23.3 | Today, the case of the people person who's fallen out of love with people. |
| 0:29.6 | That's after the break. |
| 1:09.4 | Yeah. Before we get back to the show, heads up that on Thursday, we are sharing a bonus episode from our friends at Science of Happiness, a podcast where UC Berkeley psychologist, Dr. Dacker Keltener, invites a guest to try a practice shown to boost emotional well-being, improve relationships, promote compassion, or reduce stress. |
| 1:14.6 | That episode is kind of a part two to today's story, so make sure to check it out. |
| 1:26.6 | Hey, everyone, it's YoA. I'm here to tell you about a brand new show in the Radiotopia family, a partnership with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and fellow indie network talkhouse. |
| 1:28.6 | It's called Music Makes Us and it it's hosted by literal icon, the legendary Kathleen Hanna, the frontwoman of Bikini Kill |
| 1:35.1 | and the Tigra. In each episode, she sits down with revolutionary musicians like Chaka Khan, |
| 1:41.3 | Olivia Rodriguez, and Haley Williams of Paramore to talk about things artists really |
| 1:46.7 | want to talk about, things like perfect lyrics, unforgettable shows, treasured artifacts, even snacks. |
| 1:54.9 | You'll also hear bonus episodes with rock and roll Hall of Fame curator Shelby Morrison, |
| 2:00.1 | who tells the backstory of an object from their incredible archive, |
| 2:04.7 | such as Prince's guitar and Katie Pearson of the B-52's wig. |
| 2:09.8 | Music Makes Us is now out wherever you listen to podcasts. |
| 2:13.4 | Music. I've got this thing I keep doing that, well, it gives me kind of a hit. |
| 2:28.7 | I think it's bad for me. |
| 2:30.3 | And I tell myself, no more. |
| 2:32.7 | I'm done. |
| 2:34.0 | It's draining and it sucks up the little money I have. |
| 2:38.4 | But then every six months, one thing leads to another, and I forget about these complaints, |
... |
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