Wood, it's time now for...

Johnny Dollar.

This is Charlie Burton speaking.

Oh, morning, Burton.

So you're still alive, huh?

If that was an attempt at humor, it was entirely out of place.

Well, it's early yet.

I'm the comedian, and I'll make the jokes.

Your job is to protect my life.

Don't tell me you've been shot at again. This time of morning,

boy, whoever it is really must hate you, Burton. Dollar, so help me on? So help you nothing. You may be good

old, lovable Charlie to 40 million television viewers, but to me, you're just a pain in the neck.

I'll remind you. To my clients, you're worth a half million bucks because he was fool enough to write an insurance policy on your life, but not to me.

My price on you is a fast three cents, give or take a couple.

My life has been threatened.

Sure, and that's why I'm here.

But yesterday, when I tried to get you to cooperate, you called it a practical joke.

Well, I'm not calling it that now.

No, because somebody tossed a bullet at you last night and scared the living pants off of you. Well, call Captain Peral of the Ensonata police.

Uh, Mr. Doctor. Look, I need another hour's sleep, so don't phone my room again before

nine o'clock. Goodbye.

Tonight and every weekday night,

...