Johnny Dollar.

Hi, Johnny. This is Ted Newberry over here at good old Union State's casualty.

Well, hi, Ted. What's this I hear about you going off the deep end a couple of weeks ago and getting yourself engaged?

To, uh, what's your name, Mary Ann Hooper?

Idle rumor, son, just idle rumor.

Oh, since when does an idle rumor hit the society pages of the Sunday paper?

Oh, that.

You mean this was just another false alarm?

Just a slight bit of skull duggery by Marianne's mother.

She figured if it hit the papers, then I'd have to pop the question to her darling daughter.

But Johnny, my boy, it backfired on her.

How do you mean?

When Marianne saw that blurb, she got so mad, she not only won't speak to her mother,

she won't even see or talk to me.

Instead of you're having to worm your way out of a romance again.

Right.

Thanks to dear old mama, and without having to go through any soppy farewell scenes,

I'm back in circulation and ready to play the field.

Well, just you wait, though, Ted.

Huh? When you do fall, and I mean all the way,

including the marriage route,

you are going to fall so hard the crash will be heard

...