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ShxtsNGigs

YOUR WILDEST SECRETS!

ShxtsNGigs

shxtsngigs

Comedy

4.88.5K Ratings

🗓️ 15 December 2025

⏱️ 72 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Get your tickets for our Moontower Comedy Festival show!

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Unless we're like, unless we're on a boat or unless, unless we're spending money, that's, I promise you now, you don't.

0:12.6

Guys, girls, I've got energy today. Same. I didn't before. Same. When I say my alarm rang at eight, blinked, it was nine o'clock, I shot up of bed.

0:25.6

I was like, fuck, not again.

0:27.6

I've done this again.

0:28.6

It's so jarring.

0:29.6

But nonetheless, showered, stretched, have not eaten, but had some water, had some hydration, had a ginger shot, had a new tropic shot.

0:38.4

Ready, you're ready.

0:39.3

Ready, bro. Gang, fair enough. I'm not blood shut, nothing. I feel like my energy's there. So maybe I didn't need that hour. I was pissed because I, for once, because I got angry, because as I was leaving, you left before me yesterday, in it, because I stayed behind. to get to work or no yesterday or leave sorry yeah yeah so I left

0:55.4

after you and as I was leaving um I said to Tia R 10 tomorrow she was like yeah um I've been

1:01.8

told I need to message you tonight and I was like who told you that she's just like fear did

1:04.8

and I was like okay cool I missed one call time and now feel as telling her to message me.

1:11.9

No, I said I said it to message both of us. Oh, okay, fair. I didn't tell her to message you. That's what it sounded like, she said. Maybe just contextually. Yeah, yeah. I was like, I said to her message us tonight because I'll probably forget. But I also still set my alarm at. Yeah, she also didn't message. Yeah, I know, she apologised.

1:28.0

The media's like, it's actually not even your fault

1:29.4

because I set my alarm for eight.

1:30.8

Yeah, I just. She apologised.

1:28.0

The media's like, it's actually not even your fault

1:29.4

because I set my alarm for eight. Yeah, I set my alarm yesterday. When she said that, I was like, I'm set my alarm now. Oh, okay. So I said it. And I got up and time. I was ready, born, left early, even told Jack to get to my yard earlier than he needed to to make sure that he wasn't late.

1:44.7

Yeah. On the road, I think that it was going to take me two hours to get to work.

1:47.8

What's that? even told Jack to get to my yard earlier than he needed to, to make sure that he wasn't late. Yeah. On the road, I think that it was going to take me two hours to get to work. It's supposed to take an hour and five minutes. What time to go? Um, 20 minutes before you, to be fair. Mm. When you left, you were in the car when you messaged me, correct? Yeah, yeah, I've been in the car when I messaged you. I was about to get in the shower when you, when you, when you mess about. Yeah. Anyway.

2:01.9

Anyway. You were in the car when you messaged me, correct? Yeah, I've been in the car when I mess with you. I was about to get in the shower when you mess with. Mad.

2:02.4

Yeah.

2:03.3

Anyway.

...

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