Your Twenty Two Pound Turkeys Are Ready
Elvis Duran and the Morning Show ON DEMAND
Elvis Duran Podcast Network and iHeartPodcasts
4.7 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 25 November 2025
⏱️ 4 minutes
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Summary
Throwback! Linda is so stressed about cooking for Thanksgiving, so her husband decides to make it a lliiiittttle harder with a food delivery call.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran. The Elvis Duran phone tap. All right, Brody. What's your phone tap about today? Elvis, I listened to Miguel wanted us to phone tap his wife, Linda. Linda was extra stressed about Thanksgiving. She was making dinner for his family and her family. So I called her the day before Thanksgiving and told her there was a problem with the turkey they ordered. Okay. After Thanksgiving. That's a good way to mess with someone's head. Let's listen to Brody's phone tap. Hi. Hi, I'm looking for Lyndon. Honey. Uh-huh, this is her. Hi, this is Pete Kampi from Shia Rush. I'm just calling to confirm your order that's being picked up today. Oh, yeah, that's great. Thank you. Uh-huh. |
| 1:13.8 | So we've got four pounds of potato salad, four pounds of macaroni salad, three pounds a half-sour pickle, and of course the turkey. Uh, yes, that's correct. Now, your order was very hard to fill for the turkey, but we got it. It's all taken care of. Why? Well, because I just found your order a little strange, but it's all taken care of. We were able to do it. We got 22-pound turkeys. How many 22-pound turkeys? We just need one. No, no, no, no, not 22-pound turkeys. You have 22-pound turkeys. We have them all for you. I had to call some other stores. No, no, no, no. We ordered one 22 pound turkey. Yeah, no, I took the order from, let me see here, your husband |
| 1:19.9 | Miguel, he said, hey, you got 22 pound turkeys? And I said, yeah, he said, I'll take them, sign me up. |
| 1:26.9 | So that's what we got no |
| 1:28.6 | no who in their right mind orders what what is it to two two two two 20 two pound turkeys |
| 1:35.4 | we've been a lot of pro lot of trouble to get these I had to call four other stores in the area |
| 1:39.4 | how about a thank you I'm sorry but that who why wouldn't you know this doesn't even make any sense that that doesn't I'm sorry. Why wouldn't you... |
| 1:44.1 | No, this doesn't even make any sense. |
| 1:45.7 | That doesn't... I have 16 people coming tomorrow. I can't... I can't serve that to people. I don't understand. Well, sure you can. You each give one person a turkey. I thought it was a cute idea. I figured you were having, like, a, get your own turkey kind of party. Wait, but I don't understand. |
| 1:59.9 | You do this all the time. |
| 2:01.0 | Like, are you stupid? |
| 2:02.0 | You had to have realized that that was like, |
| 2:03.5 | Oh, excuse me. |
| 2:04.0 | You didn't mean that. you having like a get your own turkey kind of party wait but i don't understand you do this all the time |
| 2:00.9 | like are you stupid you had to have realized that that was like oh excuse me i am i am a uh supermarket |
| 2:07.3 | professional ma'am i've been doing this 17 years i think i've heard turkey on you're a professional |
| 2:11.5 | then you would know that nobody in their right mind is going to order 22 pound turkeys it's like |
| 2:16.7 | literally doesn't make any sense you had to have known that that was a mistake. Listen, people are into different things. I don't know wherever you were from. I don't know. That's what you do. I don't question people. Where we're from? What are you from Ohio? This doesn't make any sense. And something needs to be done. And I need an actual 22 pound turkey because it's tomorrow and I have 16 people coming over here. Hey lady, where am I going to find a 22 pound turkey? You know what I mean? Well, maybe you should have thought of that when you're placing that order that something seemed off. Does that mean you don't want the three pounds of half sour pickles? You know what? Have a great Thanksgiving. Miguel. All right, so we're going to have to... You're calling me right now. Oh, good. I was going to say we should call her. Okay, great. Let it go to our smell. We call her back. Okay. Here we go. Miguel, what the f*** is going on right now? Have you talked to the people from here? Because I'm going to kill them? Baby, baby, relax. |
| 3:07.8 | What are you talking about? No, no, no, no, no. You ordered 22-pound turkeys. 20 turkeys that are two pounds. It's still the same amount of turkeys. What's the problem? Wait, what's the problem? First of all, I don't even know how to cook those. What do you mean? What's the problem? There's a small turkey, it's just a lot of them. |
| 3:25.4 | The cooking instructions are going to be different. |
| 3:26.9 | I don't even know how I cook those. What do you mean? What's the problem? There's a small turkey. |
| 3:24.6 | It's just a lot of them. |
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