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Well, the research is pretty clear that what we say is not nearly as important as how we say it.

And boy, do I need this episode.

I'm John Fuller, along with Greg Smalley and his wife, Erin.

They lead the focus marriage team.

And Aaron, we husbands, I don't know why, but there are so many times Deena will look at me and say,

it's not what you said, it's how you said, it's the tone.

Is she unique, or is this a fairly common thing?

Oh, it's fairly common for both husbands and wives,

that when someone is communicating, the majority of the message really is not even the words.

So it's listening for the tone and for the body language.

All of that matters.

And, you know, it can be confusing.

But it's important specifically for women to feel listened to because it speaks to them so much

of value that when their husband is specifically listening

to them, they feel so valued and respected and loved. And that's important, right? Because I'm guessing

most husbands want their wives to experience that. And, you know, gosh, if a husband is willing to listen without interrupting and, you know,

...