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ShxtsNGigs

YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN GYM TERMS?!

ShxtsNGigs

shxtsngigs

Comedy

4.89.2K Ratings

🗓️ 2 February 2026

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Shxts N’Gigs is sponsored by TUI! You pick it, they sort it. Stay tuned over the next few weeks, as James and Fuhad help two listeners with genuine holiday dilemmas they’re trying to crack, ahead of a real-life TUI holiday! https://www.tui.co.uk/


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I'm grafting bro. I'm tired when I get back.

0:02.3

I don't. Yeah, because you've been on your feet saying yes sir, no sir. Is my bowtie straight?

0:07.8

Wow! Yeah, it happened. No, no.

0:15.8

Guys, go out them sugars. Um, welcome in. Welcome in.. Welcome in. I've been trying to practice my South African accent. You're not going to do on South African accent throughout this whole episode. I'm not doing it for the whole episode. You're going to last five minutes. I'm not. I wasn't going to do it for the episode. I was going to do it for like a minute. All right, cool. All right. Sorry, start again. I did. I cut you off. You did. No, I didn't you want to do it. And you've sucked all the fun out of it.

0:40.3

I can't do an accent. I'm terrible accents. Why do you think that is? Um, I tell a lot. I actually don't think I'm terrible accents. I think I need to hear someone speak it to me and I possibly be able to say it back to them. I don't think I'm

0:55.8

capable of just sporadically doing it. to hear someone speak it to me and I possibly be able to say it back to them. I don't think I'm

0:56.0

capable of just sporadically doing an accent. If I have to hear someone do the accent and then I can

1:00.8

probably mimic. Calm. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Right. South Africa, you're here with your boys,

1:12.0

James and Fouart.

1:19.2

And as you're watching this, we're probably in and around your area, no?

1:21.2

But no!

1:29.1

We're probably in and around Joe Berg or Cape Town doing shows but we're pre-recording, eh?

1:33.2

So lock in, enjoy the episode.

1:36.7

And if you see me down the street, just say aye, eh?

1:37.4

Mind your business.

1:41.7

I'll be surrounded by security.

1:42.6

You mind your business. But yeah. What would you rate that out of ten? That was solid. Of course. That was probably like a seven and a half. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even though I know you're putting it on, if I didn't know you, I would assume you are South African. Dead. Dead us. Oh, brother. that's really good news. You did well. Thanks. All right, I have good news. Talk to me. I did my way in last night. Oh, yes. Oh, you said you have good news. Oh, so it's good news. Oh, fuck. Wait, wait. Wait, right. No. I didn't hear it. I didn't hear it. I have neutral news. You have news, yeah. I have indifferent news. Okay, cool. So I did my way on last night.

2:20.7

Oh, yeah, you said you were 92-ish. Yeah. So I was 90, um, 92 something. I can't remember what it was. Um, but I've read in my notes. Um, I'm down half a kilo. So now I'm the 90 ones. Wow.

2:36.6

I've been in the 90s in about seven years.

2:40.7

Yeah, I think the last time I was probably below 90 was probably in uni.

2:41.4

Yeah.

2:41.8

Yeah.

...

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