All right, settle down, settle down.

Okay, class, before we get started today, I have a question for you.

Timmy, put your hand down.

I haven't asked the question yet.

What do, Timmy, your hand is still up.

There you go.

All right.

Here's our kickoff question for the day. What do Boba Fett, Red Lobster, Chris Pratt, Nickelodeon, and Ellie Kemper from the office have in common? Anyone?

Yes, Timmy. No, they do not all serve shrimp. I don't know if Ellie Kemper serves shrimp at parties.

She might. Sure, Chris Pratt looks like he enjoys shrimp. I agree. Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, be quiet.

Nickelodeon is a cartoon channel. It does not serve shrimp. And Boba Fett is a bounty hunter in Star Wars.

I am very confident. There is no scene from Star Wars where Boba Fett is a bounty hunter in Star Wars. I am very confident there's

no scene from Star Wars where Boba Fett serves shrimp. Okay, anybody else? Once more,

the question is, what do Boba Fett, Red Lobster, Chris Pratt, Nickelodeon, and Ellie Kemper from the office all have in common.

The answer is, all of them are older than the United States Department of Education, which is what we're going to talk about today, here on the Political Orphanage.

Hello and welcome to the Political Orphanage, a home for inquisitive minds, deep thinkers,

and a first-rate vocational school which teaches welding, HVAC repair,

and how to spay and neuter animals. I'm Andrew Heaton, headmaster, and head spay-a-neuter teacher

of the political orphanage. And today, we're going to talk about the Federal Department

of Education, which is one of several things. President

Donald Trump and Shadow President Elon Musk are threatening to abolish or defund or

put a furry in charge of, and therefore one of the many, many things people are freaking out

...