Hey folks, this is Kevin, just a few words before we start.

Live shows coming up on April 14th and 15th risk is at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland, Oregon.

We're going to have Maria Bamford, Eric Andre, Sean Patton, Baron Vaughan, and many more.

So come on out to see us in Portland on April 14th and 15th.

Now over at thestorystudio.org, Mr. David Krab is offering a two day workshop on storytelling with characters on April 21st and 22nd.

It's about bringing the people in your stories to life in your performance.

David's teaching skills were the subject of a glowing article in the New York Times this month. We're very proud of him.

And we're always adding two days and nine week workshops at thestorystudio.org.

Finally, don't forget the most affordable and reliable place to get your sex toys,

lube, condoms, lingerie, adult DVDs. It's the deal that risk fans rave about.

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You go there, you type in the offer code RISK at the checkout.

You get 50% off just about any item, three free adult DVDs, free shipping, and an extra surprise.

Adam and Eve.com and the offer code is RISK.

Now here's the show.

May I have your attention, please?

This is RISK, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they dared to share.

I'm Kevin Allison. This is the Harry Brewer orchestra behind me now.

And this is Penises and Buttholes.

Penises and Buttholes. Penises and Buttholes. Penises and Buttholes. Penises and Buttholes.

Yeah, my friend JC wrote the lyrics to that one. Quite concise, but boy do I love that imagery.

Today's episode is called Your Attention Please. That's because all the stories in it somehow logically fit in a program titled

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