You've Been Dealing With Wins and Losses Wrong (Here's How to Fix It) | Bar from Kansas Kash

Sports Motivation Podcast

Niyi Sobo

Sports, Business

4.9 • 767 Ratings

🗓️ 10 June 2026

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kobe said it best: the key to mental toughness is not getting too high or too low. Stay even keel. But most competitors never actually figure out how to do that, because they never deal with their relationship to wins and losses.

In this episode, we break down exactly how a Killa celebrates a win and how a Killa learns from a loss. Not the feel-good version. The real version. The one that actually makes you better.

Most people celebrate wrong. They feel good, reward themselves, and let the win write checks their habits haven't earned. Most people process losses wrong too. They sulk, dodge accountability, blame outside circumstances, or rush to conclusions that protect their ego instead of building their game.

Killas do something different. They collect data on their wins. They feel the pain of a loss without letting it attach to their identity. They take responsibility without shame. And they get back in the fight quickly, but not in a hurry.

Rudyard Kipling said, "If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two impostors the same." That's the standard. Wins and losses are just information. How you use them is everything.

All we do is learn and win. That's it.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Sports Motivation podcast. It's your host, Nees Showbo. I got a great bar for you today.
0:11.7	For my competitors, those who love to win, those who hate to lose. It's going to be an important reminder.
0:23.6	And maybe not a reminder for some of you.
0:26.6	Because I noticed a lot more competitors than I would imagine have a really,
0:30.6	really immature way of viewing wins and losses.
0:34.6	You would imagine that those who are older, I mean, shoot, even in your 20s,
0:45.9	teenagers, I give a little bit of, I give a little bit of slack too, because they're still
0:52.2	teenagers.
0:53.7	But a lot of times I imagine you know
0:55.5	when I'm working with athletes that are in their 20s and beyond that they understand certain things
1:00.6	but some of them don't some of them don't some of them still have a almost like a I wouldn't
1:08.4	even say adolescent almost like a childish way of viewing wins and losses.
1:13.5	They still imagine that winning is like good and losing is bad.
1:21.5	Winning is good and losing is bad. That's how they evaluate things.
1:31.6	You know, Kobe talked a lot about his definition of mental toughness and it was very, very simple. It's the ability to stay
1:37.6	even keel. That's it. He didn't say mental toughness is like doing hard things or no it's just staying even kill that means
1:45.9	not getting too high or too low too high or too low and those things go hand in hand all right
1:56.8	and this has to do with your relationship to wins and losses. I mean, you're a competitor
2:02.5	after all, right? You love to win. Your goal is to win. Your goal is not to lose. You don't
2:10.3	compete and say, you know, today, my goal is to lose today.
2:26.1	But just as a warrior, right, wants to live, wants to survive, they understand that death is a part of the game.
2:28.6	They understand that, even though they have a certain desire to win or stay alive, right?
	...

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