You Say You Don’t Have a Favorite Child. But Do You?

KQED's Forum

KQED

News, Politics, News Commentary

4.2 • 726 Ratings

🗓️ 20 February 2026

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you ask a parent, they are likely to deny they have a favorite child. But ask a kid, and they will tell you that is not true. And researchers agree. They found that roughly two-thirds of parents have a favorite child, and that golden child retained their status for decades. While being the favorite has some obvious upsides, being the apple of your parent’s eye has its pitfalls, and the negative effects of being a non -favored child can last a lifetime. Were you a favorite child? Do you have a favorite child? Guests: Sahaj Kaur Kohli, therapist and founder, Brown Girl Therapy; writer, author of the book "But What Will People Say? Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures" Laurie Kramer, professor of Applied Psychology, Northeastern University Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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1:01.1	From KQED. Welcome to Forum. I'm Alexis Madrigal. Family dynamics can be complicated.
1:09.6	When kids' personality matches up better with one parent or the other.
1:13.9	Siblings get along or they don't.
1:16.3	Parents usually try their best, but sometimes they don't live up to their own principles and ideals.
1:22.4	I note all this to say that it should not be shocking to note that researchers have found that a large number of parents
1:28.0	have preferences among their kids. They have, in other words, a favored child, which means they have
1:34.1	children that are less favored too. And at least to me, that feels really hard to even think about.
1:39.7	But think about it today, we will. And we have a couple of people to help us understand what we know about the golden children and also maybe the silver and the bronze. And we'll take your calls and stories, of course, too.
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