You're Not Unlovable
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 24 March 2026
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, I’m joined by Therapist and Secure Attachment Coach Trevor Hanson to breaks down what anxious attachment really looks like in dating—and why feeling “not enough” can quietly shape your relationships. We talk about self-sabotage, chasing emotionally unavailable partners, and how to shift from fear to security. If you’ve ever felt unlovable or stuck in patterns you can’t explain, this one will hit home.
Connect with Trevor:
Instagram: @theartofhealingbytrevor
Website: The Art of Healing by Trevor
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | All right, Trevor Hanson, welcome to seeing other people. Hi, how are you? I'm great. I am so |
| 0:10.0 | excited to have you. Every single conversation I have with a therapist with talking about anxious |
| 0:16.9 | attachment and healing and people pleasing and self-trust is always a home run on seeing |
| 0:23.3 | other people. And so I've been super stoked to hear from you and to have you on. Oh, well, |
| 0:28.7 | I'm excited to be here. Thank you for having me. Yeah. So before we jump in, because there's so |
| 0:34.2 | much to talk about, I have so many questions. I have a ton of a listener questions that I think you are the perfect person to help answer. |
| 0:40.0 | How did you get here? |
| 0:41.7 | Did you always aspire to be a therapist and a coach and someone who talks about feelings? |
| 0:49.2 | No, definitely not. |
| 0:50.4 | So I, you know, I was going to school and I got an undergraduate in business. |
| 0:59.1 | And I was at this little university in the middle of Pacific Ocean called BYU, Hawaii. |
| 1:05.5 | And I got offered, I guess, job by Tesla. And I was like, oh, man, this is really cool. |
| 1:11.8 | It was like a business guy. |
| 1:12.7 | Like, I want to do Tesla. |
| 1:13.8 | And so I moved to Reno, Nevada. |
| 1:15.7 | I worked for Tesla. |
| 1:17.0 | I did the whole corporate world thing for two years. |
| 1:20.1 | I'll shorten this story. |
| 1:21.7 | But there was this moment in life where I was dating somebody who had a pretty significant, like, trauma history, a lot of |
| 1:31.2 | insecurities herself. |
| 1:33.3 | And I was dealing with all of my own insecurities, my anxious attachment. |
| 1:37.3 | I didn't know that's what it was called at the time, by the way, and I didn't realize that |
... |
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