You’re Not Broken, You’re Grieving: How to Name, Feel, and Grow Through It
Black Girl Burnout
Kelley Bonner
4.7 • 764 Ratings
🗓️ 28 May 2025
⏱️ 31 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What if the exhaustion you’re carrying… is actually grief? In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Kelley Bonner opens up about the layered, often invisible nature of grief—and how it has quietly shaped her healing. From the loss of her father to unexpected feelings around legacy, motherhood, and slowing down, this episode is a compassionate invitation to feel what’s real, honor what’s hard, and still choose expansion. Grief doesn’t have to shrink you. It can soften you, grow you, and gently guide you into a more grounded version of yourself.
What You’ll Learn
- How grief shows up beyond death—through broken dreams, career changes, and shifting identities
- Why slowing down can be a sacred and necessary act of healing
- How to listen to your body’s cues during a season of loss
- Gentle tools to transform grief into personal growth
Key Takeaways & Timestamps:
[00:03:00] – Naming the Hidden Grief Beneath Burnout
Kelley reframes anxiety, anger, and burnout as signs of unacknowledged grief.
[00:10:35] – Grief Will Slow You Down (And That’s a Gift)
Kelley shares how loss forced her into stillness, softness, and deeper presence.
[00:14:49] – Grief Expands More Than Pain
Unexpected emotions can rise—career regret, lost dreams, and shifting identity.
[00:22:15] – Three Invitations for Healing Through Grief
In the final section, Kelley shares three powerful practices to process grief: (1) honor the pause, (2) let your body lead, and (3) allow buried feelings to surface gently. Each tip is an invitation to let grief expand—not harden—your heart.
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Remember: You’re not broken—just breaking open. Let grief grow you.
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelly here. |
| 0:14.1 | And today we are talking all about grief. |
| 0:18.8 | Now I know what you're thinking, I thought this month was supposed to be about |
| 0:22.7 | blooming and expansion and all the beautiful ways that you can root and you can grow. About how |
| 0:30.9 | soft is the new rich. And I'm here to say yes. And hear me out. |
| 0:39.4 | But grief can be a part of that. |
| 0:42.3 | Grief can expand you. |
| 0:49.0 | And while this month is about all the beautiful ways you can bloom that are positive and grounded in joy. |
| 0:56.8 | I also want to acknowledge the very real reality that so many of us underneath our anxiety, |
| 1:04.4 | underneath our disappointment, underneath our anger, what we might be feeling is a lot of grief. |
| 1:10.1 | So before we jump into this conversation, I have a request of you, which is that I never shy away from the hard topics on this podcast. And |
| 1:12.8 | because of that, we're going to talk about grief. But I promise you, if you stick around for the |
| 1:18.8 | whole episode, you will leave the episode, hopefully how you leave all the episodes of Black Girl |
| 1:24.3 | Burnout, which is hopeful and motivated. |
| 1:29.0 | Here's a quote that I really love and that's been resonating with me lately. |
| 1:33.3 | It goes like this. |
| 1:35.1 | Grief is in two parts. |
| 1:37.2 | The first is loss. |
| 1:39.1 | The second is the remaking of life. |
| 1:42.0 | That quotes from Anne Roifa. The thing about grief is that it's tender and |
| 1:47.4 | sacred, but it's not just grief that happens when someone actually dies, though as you know, |
| 1:54.9 | I felt that very deeply. But there are many types of grief. There's a grief that comes from letting go of who you used to be, from friendships that no |
... |
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