Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast, where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights from parents just like you all over the world.

Thank you for listening and we hope this helps.

You have to see what's really going on.

Yes, they hit their sister. Yes, they got their first F on their report card. Yes, they lied about going over to their friend's house. Yes, they just screamed, I hate you and this whole family sucks. All that did happen. And it shouldn't have. It's not okay that it did. But before you do anything, can you try this? Can you say to yourself as Dr Dr. Becky writes in Good Inside, which, yes, I've been raving about,

and if you haven't read, you should grab it from the painted porch. She says, say to yourself, okay, one second. Let me take a breath. Let me see if I understand what's happening here. In a sense, can you be stoic about it? Can you put your first impressions to the test, as Epictetus tells us, and not be overwhelmed by the moment, as Marcus really said.

Can you see what's really happening? Because what's really happening is that they are frustrated after being prodded and provoked by their siblings for days on end. What's happening is that they're overwhelmed by school and they need help. What's happened is that they're desperate for connection. What happened is that they're having bigger feelings than they're equipped to deal with. And your job is to take a second,

to take that breath. Your job is to hear not just what their words are, but also what their

behavior is telling you. Your job is to look at root causes, not just symptoms. Your job is to

help them translate and also treat these issues, not just criticize or

punishment. Talk to them. Talk it through. Don't be distracted by what's on the surface or

what is frustrating or inappropriate, but go to what is really happening and help them there. There.

Hey, you're listening to the Daily Dad podcast, one meditation a day inspired to help you do your most important job, which is be a great father.

These are meditations inspired by ancient

wisdom, psychological research, and just great strategies from normal dads just like you. Thanks for

listening.