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Welcome to the Daily Stoke. For each day, we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living good life.

Each one of these passages is based on the 2000 year old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at DailyStoic.com.

You control what you hear, not what people say. The political strategist in poster Frank Lunds is fond of the expression, it's not what you say, it's what people hear.

His point is that politicians often think they come across to the public one way, but in fact are seen and heard quite differently. The same goes with issues which might seem straightforward, but in fact are interpreted with all sorts of baggage and context.

This is a timeless political reality. Some of the Stokes were more effective at managing it than other, but that's not really the point. The distinction between what is said and heard is worth noting in our personalize for two reasons.

Most simply, we should realize that we can't always control how people perceive us, even if our intentions are good and our message is clear.

But more importantly, we should think about this distinction in relation to epictetus's observation about how anytime we are offended, we are at least partly to blame.

Because let's flip Lunds's remark around, it's equally true that it's not what someone said, it's what you've heard. You have the power to interpret the remark is rude or pointed.

It's your brain that's made the decision to record something as being in bad taste or stupid or awkward. The ask is the ask. Remember the remark or the request is objective, our opinion of what it means or why it was said is subjective.

So while we cannot change the words that come out of other people's mouths, we can control how we choose to hear them. That's really the thing for you to start thinking about what's a better way to go through the world, being provoked and outraged or pissed off and disappointed because you've chosen to see the worst in people.

Because being able to laugh, to let go, to see through the rough exterior, to ignore because you've chosen to hear better, you control which path you choose and in the process you choose how happy your life is going to be.

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