You Can’t Choose Your Parents, But You Can…

The Daily Dad

Daily Dad

Relationships, Education, Dads, Parenting, Ryan Holiday, Fatherhood, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Wisdom, Kids & Family

4.6 • 630 Ratings

🗓️ 30 December 2019

⏱️ 3 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

One of the best lines from Seneca is that while we can’t choose our parents, we do have the ability to choose whose children we will be. In ancient Rome this was even more true than it sounds, because it was common for people to be adopted into families. Seneca’s brother, Lucius Annaeus Novatus, for instance, was adopted by a man named Gallio, whose name he eventually took (and if that name sounds familiar, it’s because Seneca’s brother is in the Bible).

In any case, this idea is worth thinking about now that you’re a parent. Instead of thinking about how you parents were, and using that as an excuse for whatever type of parent is easiest and most natural, why don’t you think about who you wish your parents were. Maybe that’s a specific person or maybe that’s just an ideal that you’ve seen in a movie or read about in a book. Maybe it’s a combination of the mother of one of your friends, and then someone else has become a father-figure and mentor to you since. Or maybe it’s Mr. Rogers and Ms. Frizzle from Magical School Bus. Or maybe it’s Socrates and Oprah. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you try to live as if that is whose child you were and are.

We want to eliminate the excuse of “Oh that’s just how I was raised” and “It’s what I saw growing up.” Instead we want to flip it from a rationalization to an encouragement. I am this way because it’s what my “parents” taught me to be. I’m a great dad because I had a great dad (or dads). I am carrying on the tradition. I am passing along the love and the lessons I got.

You can’t choose your parents. They did the best they could. But you can choose whose footsteps you’re going to follow in, and in so doing, what kind of parents your kids are going to have.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every day to help you with your
0:14.1	most important job being a dad. These are lessons inspired by ancient philosophy, by practical
0:20.3	wisdom, and insights from dads all over the world.
0:24.5	Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.
0:33.1	You can't choose your parents, but you can...
0:36.9	One of the best lines from Seneca is that while we can't choose our parents, we do have the ability to choose whose children we will be.
0:44.6	In ancient Rome, this was even more true than it sounds because it was common for people to be adopted into families.
0:51.7	Seneca's brother, for instance, was adopted by a man named Gio, whose name he
0:55.8	eventually took, and if that name sounds familiar, it's because Seneca's brother is in the Bible.
1:00.7	In any case, this idea is worth thinking about now that you're a parent. Instead of thinking
1:05.8	about who your parents were and using it as an excuse for whatever type of parenting is easiest and most natural,
1:12.6	why don't you think about who you wish your parents were?
1:16.6	Maybe it's a specific person, or maybe that's just an ideal that you've seen in a movie or read about in a book.
1:23.6	Maybe it's a combination of the mother of one of your friends and then someone else who
1:28.5	became a father figure or a mentor to you since. Or maybe it's Mr. Rogers or Miss Frizzle from the
1:34.7	magical school bus. Or maybe it's Socrates and Oprah. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you
1:40.3	try to live as if that is whose child you were and are.
1:45.2	We want to eliminate the excuse of, oh, that's just how I was raised, or it's what I saw
1:49.9	growing up. Instead, we want to flip it from a rationalization to an encouragement.
1:53.8	I am this way because that's what my parents taught me to be. I'm a great dad because I had a great
1:58.9	dad or dads. I am carrying on the tradition.
2:01.9	I am passing along the love and the lessons I got. You can't choose your parents. They did the best
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Daily Dad, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Daily Dad and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.