You can’t change them - but you can change yourself with Cat Sims

Motherkind

Zoe Blaskey

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.8 • 864 Ratings

🗓️ 23 October 2025

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

**Trigger warning: this conversation covers addiction and makes reference to sexual assault. Please be mindful of this before hitting play** If you’re tired of doing it all, this episode will change how you see your relationship. Cat Sims reveals why you can’t fix your partner – but you can change the dynamic – through honesty, communication, and the unexpected power of letting go. We’re diving deep into the mental load – that endless, invisible checklist running in your head to keep everyone and everything afloat. It’s the 3 a.m. jolt when you realise it’s book character day at nursery or that you forgot the doctor’s appointment (again). The mental load is relentless, unfair, and exhausting – and most of it still falls on mothers. This week’s guest, Cat Sims, knows it all too well. It almost cost her marriage. Now, she’s written The Mental Load Diaries: How I Learned to Juggle Life, Love and the Never-Ending To-Do List – a raw, funny, and deeply relatable guide to reclaiming your sanity. In this conversation, you’ll learn: What mental load really is and why it’s so damaging The moment Cat realised her marriage was breaking under its own weight How to communicate the load with your partner (without it ending in a fight) What to do if your partner just doesn’t get it Remember to subscribe to Motherkind — it helps more mothers find the show and keeps our community growing. Need a hand managing the mental load? Download your FREE cheat sheet. If you liked this episode, listen to this next: Why you're resentful in your relationship—and how to fix it starting today, with Dr Morgan Cutlip Connect with Cat Sims: Instagram SubStack You’re Never the Only One Podcast Cat Sim’s photo credit: Tash Busta Photography Connect with Zoe: Follow Zoe on Instagram Get Zoe’s Sunday Times bestselling book, 'Motherkind: A New Way to Thrive in a World of Endless Expectations’ This Motherkind episode is sponsored by: Headline sponsor Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women’s supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply. For a £100 sponsored job credit, visit Indeed.com/ Motherkind Explore thefamilysuite.co.uk and discover luxury hotels around the world that truly welcome families, without compromise. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Motherkind. We are proudly sponsored by Wild Nutrition Women's Supplements. I am your host, Zoe Blaskey, and this is the show that is going to grab you by your hand and be your guide for the wild ride that is modern motherhood welcome i am so
0:24.0	happy you are here this week we are talking about the mental load you know the thousands of things
0:29.2	we have to remember to do and to plan to keep our families running it's waking bolt up right at
0:35.8	3 a.m because you forgot it's come as this random character
0:39.5	day at nursery or you forgot to make that doctor's appointment. The mental load is invisible.
0:45.8	It's unfair with mothers bearing the majority of it and it is exhausting. This week's guest, Kat Sims, nearly got divorced because of the
0:57.9	mental load and now she's written a book on it called The Mental Load Diaries, How I Learn
1:02.4	to Juggle Life, Love and the never-ending to-do list. This is the episode I wish I'd had when I, too,
1:09.4	was drowning in the resentment and overwhelm of the mental load.
1:13.8	Keep listening to learn why the mental load can break mothers and marriages, why communication
1:20.6	is the key and how to do it right, and what to do if you have got a partner who just will
1:25.7	not get on board. This episode might just save
1:29.8	your sanity and quick one. Please make sure you subscribe. Remembering to find each episode is not
1:36.1	something you want to add to your mental load. So subscribing helps you because the new episode
1:41.4	will just be there waiting for you and it helps me because more subscribers means a bigger show, bigger guests and more impact. Here is the episode. I hope you
1:49.4	love it. I'd like to take this moment to thank our headline sponsor, Wild Nutrition,
1:57.7	who are offering Motherkind listeners 50% off for three months. I'm so excited to tell you
2:03.3	about the new range of children's gummies. Now, I have two quite picky eaters, so I need to make
2:08.7	sure they are hitting their nutrient levels for healthy mind and body development. And this is where
2:13.8	wild nutrition's new children's gummies can help. The children's gummies range
2:18.9	is made with 96% real fruit. There's no refined sugars or sweeteners. There's no artificial
2:24.1	colours or preservatives and they are 100% vegan. We absolutely love the vitamin D gums, the biotic
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