YGTG (You Get the Gist): A Thought After Cheslie Kryst's Suicide - The Need to Redefine Strength and Success
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 2 February 2022
⏱️ 5 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On the 30th of January, a young woman threw herself off the balcony of a New York high rise and died. She was Cheslie Kryst, who'd made history as the oldest Miss USA at the age of 28. She was highly successful, extremely driven, and desperately afraid of getting older as if when she turned 30, her time for accomplishment would disappear.
People who were trying to cope with her death said, "Don't forget to check on the strong people." That's a great first step. But there's another, even more important step. First, be vulnerable yourself. Invite those strong people to do the same. And do it more than once. Do it often. And maybe, just maybe, one day they’ll say, “You know, I’m actually terrified to let anyone know what goes on in my head.” Check on strong people. Yes. But help them – and the world – begin redefining what “strong” is. You begin defining what strong is. That’s what will help the Cheslie’s of the world.
I offer my compassion to all who knew and loved her.
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, this is Selfwork, and I'm Dr. Mark Brutherford. |
| 0:10.0 | I'm so glad to have you here. I need to give you a trigger warning, however, we're going |
| 0:14.3 | to be talking about suicide. Miss special edition of YGTG or you get the gist. |
| 0:22.7 | On the 30th of January, a young woman threw herself off the balcony of a New York high |
| 0:26.7 | rise and died. She was Chessley Christ, a name I'd never heard of, until someone on Instagram |
| 0:32.6 | messaged me, someone also in TV news who knew her. As we messaged back and forth, she told |
| 0:38.1 | me she talked about the message of perfectly indapression to many of her colleagues, |
| 0:42.9 | because needing to look quite put together comes with that territory. Chessley, who earned |
| 0:48.1 | a lot of agree and an MBA at the same time, made history as the oldest Miss USA at the age |
| 0:53.2 | of 28, but she wrestled greatly with a pairing of youth and accomplishment. I want to |
| 0:59.7 | read you excerpts from an article she wrote not even a year ago. When I graduated from college |
| 1:04.8 | and opted to continue my studies at Wake Forest University, I decided I'd earn a law degree |
| 1:09.7 | at an MBA at the same time. Why stop at two degrees when you can have three? I discovered |
| 1:14.9 | that the world's most important question, especially when asked repeatedly and answered frankly, |
| 1:19.9 | is why? Why earn more achievements just to collect another win? Why pursue another plaque or metal |
| 1:26.5 | or line item on my resume if it's for vanity's sake rather than out of passion? Why work so hard |
| 1:32.7 | to capture the dreams I've been taught by society to want when I continue to only find emptiness? |
| 1:39.7 | And last, a grinning crinkly eyed glance at my achievements thus far makes me giddy about laying |
| 1:45.9 | the groundwork for more, but turning 30 feels like a cold reminder that I'm running out of time |
| 1:52.1 | to matter in society's eyes and it's infuriating. I couldn't get this young woman who'd so brutally |
| 1:58.9 | kill herself off my mind, so I spent yesterday trying to learn more about her. I watched people who |
| 2:05.2 | knew her try to discuss their grief and at the end of one segment and I could see that the crew |
... |
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