XYBM Clips: A lot of Black men struggle to accept compliments
Express Yourself Black Man
Kizzle
5.0 • 556 Ratings
🗓️ 21 April 2026
⏱️ 10 minutes
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Summary
In XYBM 154, we sit down with Stevon Lewis, a speaker, author, psychotherapist, and the host of the podcast, "How to Talk to High Achievers About Anything," produced by LWC Studios. He explains imposter syndrome as fear of being exposed as a fraud, often rooted in childhood criticism, conditional affirmation, or being “the only one” in certain spaces, including Black people in majority-white environments.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | compliments should serve as confirmation for things you already know to be true about yourself. |
| 0:22.7 | So, like, if you have a hard time kind of accepting the compliment, then I'm saying maybe you need to do some work on understanding who you are. Because I don't know that we live in a society where people are just throwing out, you know, good job for every little thing. Like, I mean, we can say, you know, everybody gets a trophy now, but, like, I wasn't real life. People can't wait to be like, nah, bro, you missed it. |
| 0:23.2 | You didn't get it. |
| 0:23.8 | You didn't do it. |
| 0:33.3 | And if you're doing that to yourself, then if somebody gives you a compliment, then it should serve as confirmation for something you already know to be true about you. Like, I'm going to receive that. I'm gonna own it. |
| 0:34.2 | Like, yo, thank you. |
| 0:34.9 | That's dope. |
| 0:36.4 | Oh, man, you looking like you were listening. |
| 0:37.2 | Hey. |
| 0:38.1 | You know what? |
| 0:39.0 | I have been to the gym. |
| 0:39.8 | I've been hitting it, bro. |
| 0:41.5 | I'm glad you noticed that, man. Yeah, you know, I'm putting up these plates now. Yeah, it's what? Oh, man, you know, there's a little something there. Yeah. No, I'm not minimizing. Absolutely. I've been in there working out, man. I've been lifting heavy weights. I've been eating more protein. Hey, you see the results? You see it. |
| 0:54.6 | I like it. |
| 0:55.2 | Thank you. Yes. Because you put it into work and you get the results. And then when somebody said they noticed the results, you said, oh, then why did you do a good job? Yeah. Why shy away from it when you work so hard to get to that point? What's the point? Why did you do something good? oh man, you got a nice house. |
| 1:10.8 | Oh, man, you know. |
| 1:12.4 | Then why did you buy this house? |
| 1:13.7 | Why didn't you buy... |
| 1:14.7 | Yeah. work so hard to get to that point. What's the point? Why did you do something good? Oh, man, you got a nice house. Oh, man, you know, then why did you buy this house? |
| 1:13.6 | Why didn't you buy, like, what are you doing? Why don't you live in your car then, bro? What are we talking about? Nah, bro, don't notice that, bro. Don't notice that. But you know, oh man, damn, now you got him thinking, bro. |
| 1:26.1 | Wow. |
| 1:27.0 | One thing that came to my mind where you mentioned that about, like, |
... |
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