XYBM Clips: A lot of Black men feel invisible
Express Yourself Black Man
Kizzle
5.0 • 556 Ratings
🗓️ 12 November 2025
⏱️ 13 minutes
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Summary
In XYBM 143, I sit down with Professor Odi — a psychotherapist doing incredible work with Black men in our community @blackmansafehaven. For his third appearance — and part one of a two-part series — Odi returns to share new insights on the emotional landscape of Black men, exploring why so many feel unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. We unpack the “deficit model” that defines Black men by what they lack, the male loneliness epidemic, and how patriarchy harms everyone — especially those it claims to empower.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | people raise their daughters or they control their daughters, but they neglect their sons. |
| 0:05.0 | Right? |
| 0:06.0 | It's easier to raise boys because we feel like we don't have to affirm them as much. |
| 0:10.0 | We don't have to do all of these emotional things with boys. |
| 0:13.0 | But then how does that impact their development? |
| 0:15.0 | Right. |
| 0:16.0 | How does that impact their self-worth? |
| 0:19.0 | How does that impact their perception of self? Right? It is the idea, and once again, |
| 0:24.5 | this is going back to, this is going back to what it is that you were talking about, about |
| 0:28.0 | that invisibility, that lack of affirmation or that lack of seeing what it is that you are doing. |
| 0:36.1 | For black men, that hurts more. |
| 0:41.2 | Because once again, we are used to being seen |
| 0:44.1 | as perpetually broken. |
| 0:46.0 | We are used to being seen as perpetually invisible. |
| 0:50.6 | We are used to be... |
| 0:51.4 | That's the reason why so many black men will say, |
| 0:53.5 | oh, y'all focus so much on the bad ones. What about the good ones? |
| 0:56.8 | Keir Gaines says something on his podcast with his wife, Noem, and he was like, y'all, being a good man is like being an A student in the class. |
| 1:08.6 | Nobody checks on you. Nobody engages with you because they're going to |
| 1:11.9 | assume that you're okay. They presume that, once again, I've asked the question before, |
| 1:18.1 | when you think about your perception of a good man, when you think about your perception, |
| 1:22.6 | that archetype about what a good man is, does that good man have any bad days? Is that good man ever injured? |
... |
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