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Lovett or Leave It

Xi’s Just Not That Into You

Lovett or Leave It

Lovett or Leave It

Comedy, News

4.725.1K Ratings

🗓️ 16 May 2026

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

China blows smoke up Trump’s skirt, Rand Paul’s son gets hot under the collar, and Marco Rubio slips into something a little more comfortable. This week, Outlander star Sam Heughan and Lovett explore online fandom and only one survives. Hacks’ Caitlin Reilly sweeps us off our feet and into the distant past, and we all journey to cloud nine for a hilarious round of Second Thoughts.

For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast, episode title, and episode date.

Transcript

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0:00.0

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1:10.9

Love It at checkout fastgrowingtrees.com code Love It. Now's the perfect time to plant. Let's grow

1:16.3

together. It's also something we say in a different ad. Use Love It to save today. Offers valid for

1:20.9

limited time. Terms, welcome to love it or leave it live it live it live it live

1:33.3

from Hollywood.

1:42.3

I'm John Loven at Arrow on six, but a Gelson's eight.

1:45.9

We've got a great show for you tonight.

1:48.3

But first, let's get into it.

1:50.5

What a week.

1:52.7

President Trump traveled to Beijing this week for a two-day summit with Chinese leader Xi Jinping,

1:57.8

said Secretary of State Mark Arubio, before we land, sir,

2:01.6

do you want to pull your eyelids apart and do the voice one more time just to get it out of your system?

2:06.9

The president traveled with a crack team, including Rubio and Defense Secretary Pete

2:11.2

Hegseth, along with Elon Musk, Tim Cook, the head of Black Rock, Brett Ratner, comedian Bert

2:16.2

Kreischer, and conservative host Sean Hannity. Burke Kreischer wasn't on the trip. I'm making that up. Don't worry. A heartbroken. You were a heartbroken. No, he's not on it. You're good. You're good. You're good. He can still be a lovable oath. You're fine. You're safe. Trump's son, Eric, a private citizen with business interest in China, is on the trip, along with his wife, Laura.

2:37.0

She posted a selfie with the gang and the caption, Team China!

2:42.0

Look at this party. I would rather be in the Donner party.

2:46.0

I would rather be on the Haunted Virus cruise right now than on that. That's a sincere, I would take my fucking chances on the Haantavirus ship than be in this table for 12 in Beijing. This photo is the last thing of Beijing waiter sees before being sent out on a frantic search for, quote,

3:08.5

normal food. Also accompanying Trump was Brett Ratner, the director of rush hour, who planned to

3:16.2

use the trip to scout China for rush hour for locations. And this is normal. We all remember

3:22.6

when President Obama traveled to Japan with Tom

...

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