Content warning for discussions of childhood sexual abuse. I'm sorry.

I'm going to be. I am at a stage of my life where I get legitimately excited when a new flavor of seltzer drops.

We only have so much, Natalie.

The older you get, you got to quit smoking.

You got to mind your macros.

You got to eat more protein and lift weights and whatever it takes to live. Sure. So give me the flavored soda. Please. Yeah. I do. I, it is, you know, you just got to, like you just said, you just got to shift your mind around, be like, this is the same as when I used to experiment with drugs. Yeah. It's like a new drug every time.

Every new flavor of Waterloo. It's just like a tab of acid at a concert. Oh yeah, baby. Dancing around.

I remember dancing at a bar and being like, I have work in four hours. Woo! And I get like heat flashes thinking about that, like sweats. Oh, man. man yeah had a couple of those days and

I'm not going to say I was like okay I think sometimes people have rose tins of glasses about

their 20s when they were doing that and acting like they were just bounced right back and like

no you didn't you just did it anyway now you might feel like you you need to go the hospital, you didn't. You just did it anyway. Now you might feel like you need to go to the hospital, but you didn't feel good the next day after that. No, it was just like a constant state of feeling like I'm going to die. I guess this is normal. That's what a growing up is. Yay. It's really fun too when you don't know how and what kind of mental illnesses you have yet. And so you don't know how to like manage them. So that always is an added fun part of being really young. Oh yeah. And you're just like, wait, no, you're not anxious all the time and like double check the doorknob. Are you scared to look at the sky because if you look at the sky a dragon's going to come out of it and we're all going to be swallowed because that's a thought I had in my 20s.

Right.

And you just assume everybody's like that.

And then you get old and you're like, oh, fuck, I was the problem.

Yeah.

And also it's okay if you have those problems. You're not going to go into a mental institution. No. Because they closed them all down. They did? Most of them. Oh, right. They did. I'm sorry. I forgot. How could you forget? I don't know. How could you forget about the mental institutions, Amber? No, they, you know, we're still figuring a lot out in that world.

But what they were doing in the 20th century wasn't great.

No, they just locked them in a room.

Yeah.

Tell them to fight it out.

But I got to tell you, in the early 2000s, I loved going through abandonmental institutions.

There's a bunch of them in Pennsylvania, and it is fun.

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