Worth Repeating // Kirk Martin (Calm Parenting)

Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Kids & Family, Leisure, Parenting, Education

5 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 28 December 2020

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply.

Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.

The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!

This episode originally aired in May of 2015

Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.

What we chat about:

Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown

I can only control one person in life, and that’s me.

How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).

If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?

How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.

Connect with Kirk:

Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast

Links Mentioned:

CDs/DVDs
888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents

Become a DMA Insider! Join me and Bruce in 2021 to discuss StrengthsFinder! How it impacts your marriage, parenting and career. You're invited!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey y'all welcome back to the Don't Mom Alone podcast.
0:11.0	I'm your host Heather McFadian and this is the place where I'm going to walk alongside
0:15.4	you and connect you with people and resources so you know that you don't mom alone.
0:21.4	And this worth repeating episode I'm sharing a portion of a conversation I had with Kirk
0:26.3	Martin back in March of 2015. It was the first time I had him on the show, the first of
0:31.7	many and he is fantastic. Kirk is the founder of Celebrate Calm. He speaks in trains parents
0:40.9	on tips and truths on how to manage ourselves when it comes to interacting with our kids.
0:48.7	You are going to love what he has to share if you've not heard of before and if you need
0:52.2	to hear more go search Kirk Martin over at Don't Mom Alone. All right let's get right
0:56.6	to it. Here we go. Hey Kirk welcome to the podcast. Hey Heather it's great to be here.
1:03.1	Could you just let us know how did you even come to the point where you have a site and
1:07.8	you speak around the country on this topic. So I had a very very very strong willed son
1:15.0	the kind of kid that kind of comes out of the womb with boxing gloves on right. You just
1:18.7	want to argue about everything and everything. And I spent the first nine years of his life
1:24.3	telling my wife if your son would just do what I said when I said how I said it, I would
1:30.4	be a great father. I kept thinking it was all him it's all him it's all him. And I
1:37.1	started hearing this kind of still small voice in my head saying you know what if your son
1:42.6	is made like that on purpose. And what if by trying to change him you're actually frustrating
1:49.5	my purposes for your son and in the killer question I heard was well what if instead of
1:53.9	changing your son's behavior you need to change. And I'm a guy I don't like to change you
2:00.5	know it's my way or the highway. And and slowly I began to realize the quickest way to
2:06.2	change my child's behavior was to first control my own because I would escalate just about
	...

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