This is the BBC World Service. I am Santa Safi and welcome to World of Wisdom, where we explore ways

to address some of the personal issues that life turns up. To have a beautiful, strong, lasting, successful relationship at the core of our lives.

That is an ideal that takes root at an early age all over the world.

But do we always know what a successful relationship looks like?

And can we sometimes hope and expect too much?

Farzine is originally from India.

She wrote to us from California, USA where she now lives.

She has had trouble building what she thinks is a successful relationship

and suspects there might be something from her past that is standing in her way. We put her in touch

with Dr. Shefali. This is a shortened version of their chat. How does one remove mental blocks that you may not even be aware of? My

parents were divorced when I was 15 days old. There was little support for my

single mom as I grew up and that left me yearning for a relationship and

family for myself. Yet at 44, despite trying I find myself single and completely unfulfilled in relationships and unable

to attract the right person.

Do I have a mental block?

I wonder whether, is it karma or faith that has defined my situation for me?

Or whether there is a way I can make my own destiny.

Okay, that's a great question.

So there's a part of you that wonders if this was all kind of

karmically set up from a young age is that what you're feeling?

Yes and it is basically I grew up in an

like with the Indian background so some of it is like you can't help but think about like

...