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The Daily Dad

Work with Them to Find Their Lane

The Daily Dad

Daily Dad

Relationships, Education, Ryan Holiday, Society & Culture, Wisdom, Self-improvement, Kids & Family, Parenting, Fatherhood, Dads

4.6630 Ratings

🗓️ 6 April 2023

⏱️ 4 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“As we bring up our children, we have to remember that we are caretakers of the future. By improving their education, we improve the future of mankind, the future of this world.”

-Immanuel Kant

 Adam’s father wanted nothing but for his son to go to college. John Adams wanted to do anything but go to school. He often skipped class to go fishing or hunting or to fly his kite. He didn’t like his teachers. He didn’t think he was learning anything useful. He had no interest in furthering his education.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast, where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

0:15.0

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights from

0:24.3

parents just like you all over the world. Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

0:34.7

Work with them to find their lane. You want them to be successful. You want them to be ambitious.

0:40.3

You want them to fulfill the potential you see in them. Every parent does. You have this idea of where

0:45.5

you think they ought to go. And of course, they have other ideas. John Adams, Sr. wanted nothing

0:50.7

more but for his son to go to college. John Adams wanted to do anything but go to school.

0:56.0

He often skipped to go fishing or hunting or fly his kite.

0:59.0

He didn't like his teachers. He didn't think he was learning anything useful.

1:03.0

He had no interest in furthering his education.

1:06.0

So when he declared that he wanted to be a farmer, his father took him down to the salt marsh to cut thatch and weighed through

1:10.9

muck, showing him what the work would actually be like. The next day, John went back to school.

1:16.9

But soon enough, Adams was struggling. I don't like my schoolmaster, he told his father. He is so

1:21.5

negligent and cross that I can never learn anything under him. The next day, Adam's father

1:26.1

enrolled him in a private school down the road.

1:28.8

There, under a schoolmaster named Joseph Marsh, Adams made a dramatic turn. He was studying,

1:33.6

he was reading, he saved up money to buy a copy of Cicero's writings. And in less than a year,

1:38.4

the 15-year-old was pronounced, fitted for college, and the following fall, he enrolled at Harvard.

1:43.9

We talked to Austin Cleon

1:45.6

over at Daly Stoic a while back about how our job as parents is to put our kids in environments

1:51.3

in which they can learn. Our job is to create or find the space for them to become who they are.

1:56.5

Our job is to work with them to find their lane. That environment may not be the first school

...

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