Women, Men & the "Gray Divorce": How to Reconnect When Everything Is Changing with Terry Real
The Resetter Podcast with Dr. Mindy
Dr. Mindy Pelz
4.7 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 15 December 2025
⏱️ 80 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Women in midlife are questioning their marriages at record rates often feeling more independent, less willing to people-please, and deeply hungry for real emotional connection. But what is actually happening inside women (and men) during this season of life?
In this timely and powerful episode, I sit down with renowned therapist and bestselling author Terry Real to unpack what's really driving the "gray divorce" trend — and why so many long-term relationships feel strained during perimenopause and postmenopause.
And if you've ever wondered whether midlife relationship struggles mean your marriage is broken or simply ready to evolve, this episode offers the nuance, compassion, and tools that short-form advice can't.
To view full show notes, resources mentioned, discount codes, transcripts, and more, visit https://drmindypelz.com/ep318/
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Please note our medical disclaimer.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | On this episode of The Resetter podcast, I am bringing you Dr. Terry Real. |
| 0:09.6 | Now, you all are in for one treat. |
| 0:13.0 | This is definitely the conversation around marriage and men and menopause that I really wanted to bring to you because if |
| 0:24.3 | you're not familiar with Terry Reel's work he is a couples therapist and a New |
| 0:30.1 | York Times best-selling author of many books the book that introduced me to his |
| 0:34.7 | work is called us and you and we reference it in this conversation. |
| 0:38.8 | I highly recommend it. |
| 0:41.2 | And one of the things that I love about what Terry's doing is he's really helping men |
| 0:48.2 | communicate, connect, better in relationship. |
| 0:53.6 | And I have been really troubled in all honesty by the conversation around |
| 0:59.8 | gray divorce. And if you're divorced, this is of no criticism. If you're on the brink of divorce, |
| 1:04.6 | you definitely want to listen to this episode. Or maybe you're in a marriage, a long-term |
| 1:10.2 | marriage that you're looking just to |
| 1:11.8 | reinvent and what i love about terry's work is he really looks at the global picture of how |
| 1:20.5 | the patriarch patriarch patriarch not being men but being a power a structure has really caused women to not speak up for themselves |
| 1:29.9 | and has caused men to not be vulnerable. And when we look at the amount of marriages that dissolve, |
| 1:39.1 | especially when a woman goes through menopause, at the heart of it is an imbalance of communication. |
| 1:47.0 | And so what Terry is trying to do is bring forward to men a different way they can |
| 1:53.3 | communicate with women. And this isn't a podcast I want to point out of male bashing. This is a conversation around how can we connect deeper with our partners? |
| 2:06.6 | And he goes back and forth between men can do this and women can do that. And he gives lots of examples. |
| 2:13.9 | So I really wanted to bring you all a conversation on how do we strengthen our marriages as we go through menopause? |
| 2:23.0 | Or in some of your cases, and he talks about this, how do you know when it's time to leave? |
... |
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