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The political season is upon us, and those flying red colors have their promises.

The politicians wearing blue have different promises, but those of us in the Criptych party have only one promise to stay hidden and mind our own business.

Don't let the political pundits, the candidates, the PACs, or your close-minded brainwashed family and friends tell you who to vote for.

You're smarter than that.

That's why I'm telling you who to vote for.

This November, pull the lever for Bigfoot and mothman. Our new president, Bigfoot,

won't make the same mistakes as humans have because he's not human.

Bigfoot loves our country and you, so much so that he knows you have a better idea about how to run your life than he does.

So he's staying out of your life.

With Vice President Mothman, their new administration will do what no administration has done in the past.

Absolutely nothing.

Show your support for the Criptych party by grabbing your Bigfoot Mothman

...