So the next time you're going to send in one of these text messages,

he's going to jackulate in his pants.

Take out a pencil, take out a notebook, and write this down.

You're welcome. Let's start.

It's file events and your favorite meme queen in the big set you didn't ask for,

but be to welcome to almost adulting.

Almost, but adulting.

Almost, but adulting.

Are you ready?

Hello, welcome to another beautiful Tuesday.

But also, it's another beautiful episode with me, your host, your best friend,

and your lover. What do I normally say? I already forgot because it's been a second

sentence I recorded an intro. No, I recorded one last week.

So actually, I should know better.

Your best friend, your host, oh, your big sister and your therapist.

Unlicensed therapist.

File events and welcome to my show, almost adulting. So today, we have somewhat,

I would say, I was supposed to be a shorter episode because it's our Tuesday episodes.

So those are either confession corner episodes, which you should check out the one from last week,

and then the one before that because they're epic.

And it was basically you guys calling in and then telling me secrets of what it was like to have

a sugar daddy and funny stories. And basically, that's my favorite episodes actually, if I'm being

...