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improv4humans with Matt Besser

Will Hines, Mike Still, Joe Wengert, Doug Levison

improv4humans with Matt Besser

Matt Besser

Comedy

4.92.8K Ratings

🗓️ 27 May 2015

⏱️ 121 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Apes Will Fight If We Must - Will Hines, Mike Still, and Joe Wengert are humons living in the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes on this week’s improv4humans with Matt Besser! We’ll hear how an undercover cop infiltrates a group of 16 year-olds at a concert, the Tween Gay News as reported by Joe, and the best shitting in your pants story in American history. Plus, Doug Levison aka the Angry Trumpet Critic calls in to offer Matt advice on what to do about another improv teacher unfairly criticizing the UCB in another edition of Case Closed. Make sure to get the Upright Citizens Brigade television show season 3 now available on DVD, the UCB Comedy Improv Manual , and Dragoon’s new album at dragoongalaxy.bandcamp.com !

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:06.0

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0:30.0

Now I see like Caesar the main ape is surrounded by legions of apes. Humans are discovering they can talk.

0:44.0

Pretty much, yeah. And they ride horses. That's a big one. Now horses are like mother fuckers.

0:55.0

Do you want to have a revolution? So many species on this planet are going to ride us.

1:01.0

Don't you think that's the best scene from the movie? That one? Yeah.

1:05.0

The best moment. I really, the first one is when he says no. That's at the very end, isn't it?

1:10.0

Yeah. Well, not the very end. Caesar's talking about. That's a big one. Like this is, that's when the humans are discovering that these apes exist and they're all shocked. That's a big moment.

1:19.0

There's the, there's the big betrayal moment. That's the one that it sticks out to me is when the...

1:24.0

Whatever the other apes nixon. I don't know what the, the bag name is.

1:28.0

It's like a really naked 70s. Not a fry for your name is, but like when, when one ape, because the main rule with apes is...

1:35.0

Apes don't kill it. Yeah, apes don't kill apes. They stay to each other all the time.

1:40.0

And let me just, just so the listener understands that didn't see the movie.

1:45.0

What preceded this moment is the humans in San Francisco, most of the human population on Earth is died of the virus at the end of the first movie, right?

1:57.0

And so now there's still some humans left in San Francisco and they've just been holding up there for years. It's like 10 years later.

2:05.0

And the apes have built their own empire out in like what, the Berkeley area or something? Across the, across the Golden Gate Bridge.

2:14.0

I don't know. It's like in the woods, beautiful woods. Like the red woods, I guess. Yeah.

2:18.0

We're either further away. So they're just, they're not messing with the, basically they're not messing with the humans.

2:25.0

They don't even know that they are, the humans are still alive. They haven't seen humans in literally two years. That's said.

2:30.0

Yeah. Two apes say that to each other. They wonder if they're even still alive.

2:34.0

Yeah. One of them says something like, I haven't seen them into this is this is all in sign language, but I haven't seen them in like two years.

2:41.0

They must be all gone. Right. Caesar's like, mm, okay. And Caesar's kind of sad because it's foster dad. Right.

...

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