Why Your Fantasies Are Sexually Healthy

Sex With Emily

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.3 • 6.8K Ratings

🗓️ 6 March 2026

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you've ever felt ashamed of a sexual fantasy, I want you to know that having one isn't a sign that something is wrong with you — it's actually a sign of a healthy sex life. Fantasies can reveal what you truly crave, deepen your connection with a partner, and completely transform your relationship with your own desire. But most of us were never taught how to think about them, let alone talk about them out loud. In this episode, I'm breaking down what your fantasies actually mean, why you don't need to act on all of them, and exactly how to bring one up with a partner without it feeling terrifying. In this episode, you'll learn: • What the most common fantasies reveal about your psychological needs — and why the ones that embarrass you the most are usually the most telling • My step-by-step framework for communicating a fantasy to a partner (even if you've never done it before and have no idea where to start) • What to do if you can't seem to fantasize at all — including why a history of trauma or a conservative upbringing can shut down your erotic imagination, and how to gently rebuild it More Dr. Emily: • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).5 • Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! • Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. • The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure • Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website • Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube • Let’s text: Sign up here • Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro 1:47 - The Most Common Fantasies (Group Sex, BDSM, Voyeurism & More) 3:50 - Listener Fantasy List: What YOU Shared on Instagram 6:12 - How to Bring Up a Fantasy to Your Partner (The Who, What, Where, When, Why Method) 8:24 - Fantasy vs. Fetish: What's the Difference? 9:09 - Caller Update: Tracy's Throuple Story 15:44 - "Is It Wrong to Fantasize About Someone Else While in a Relationship?" 17:33 - How to Find a Couple for a Threesome 20:32 - Latex Fetish & Pegging: How to Get Your Partner on Board 24:12 - How to Make the First Move Without Falling into the Friend Zone 28:26 - Foot Fetishes 101: How to Blow His Mind 31:03 - When Trauma Blocks Your Fantasy Life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I want to explain to you that when we are judging our fantasies or our thoughts, we're stuck.
0:09.0	But when we don't attach any meaning to them, like, it's okay that I fantasize.
0:13.0	Whatever comes up for me right now, I'm just going to fantasize about and I'm not going to judge it.
0:18.0	Then you might find that there's even more fantasies coming into your head and you'll
0:21.5	feel more free and more open. But the negativity and judgment on ourselves is what actually
0:28.3	holds us back and makes us feel worse. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily,
0:35.9	and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure
0:38.1	and liberate the conversation around sex. So what is your biggest fantasy? Maybe it's watching
0:43.9	your partner with someone else, it's role playing, maybe it's something else entirely. Well,
0:48.8	I share your top fantasies from you, my listeners that you shared on Instagram, what they actually
0:53.3	mean, how you can bring
0:54.7	up to a partner, and why you don't have to share all of your fantasies with another person,
0:58.7	but also why sexual fantasies are important. I also answer questions about how to break out
1:03.2	of the friend zone. What to do if you fantasize about a best friend? How about if you struggle
1:07.9	to fantasize about anything? Plus, I break down everything you need to know about threesomes, latex, panties, and foot fetishes. And remember this about fantasies. We all have fantasies, and there should be no shame in having fantasies. Please rate and review Sex with Emily. Wherever you listen to the show, it helps get the shot to more people, and it just takes you a few seconds to do it. You can just do it right now. Look at your phone,
1:31.0	look at your app that you're listening to this on, and review us. We so appreciate it. You can
1:35.3	also find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, or X, and Facebook, all the places.
1:40.0	It's all at Sex with Emily. All right, everyone, enjoy this episode.
1:52.1	Okay, so if you've been listening to this show for a while, you know I'm not about random sex toys or gimmicks. I'm about tools that actually support your pleasure, your communication,
1:56.3	and your connection. Well, that's exactly why we created the shop, Sex with Emily store. Everything
2:01.4	in there is curated by me and my team. And these are products I trust. I recommend to clients.
2:06.7	And what tell my friends about. I do tell my friends about. It's what I talk about all the time.
	...

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