Why You’re Still Single (It’s Not Bad Luck)
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 28 April 2026
⏱️ 55 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Amy Chan returns to Seeing Other People five years after her first appearance to talk about her new book UNSINGLE and what it actually takes to create a healthy, lasting relationship. We talk about why so many of us keep repeating the same dating patterns, how we're often optimizing for the wrong things, and why chemistry alone isn't enough to build something long-term. Amy shares her “dating funnel” framework to help identify where you're getting stuck, plus the mindset shifts that can help you break out of dating burnout. We also dive into limerence, dating outside your type, and the four pillars of healthy relationships — chemistry, compatibility, timing, and mutuality. Amy explains why the “perfect person at the wrong time is the wrong person,” how to challenge limiting beliefs about love, and the experiment she created that has helped people finally find lasting relationships.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Amy Chan. Hi. Welcome to seeing other people. Thanks for having me again. It's been five years. |
| 0:11.1 | Oh my gosh. It's been that long. You were one of the first guests of seeing other people. Like one of the first. |
| 0:18.2 | Yeah. And sitting here with you feel so special. Oh. And I'm so excited for you. There's so much for us to talk about, like, truly, can I keep you here until tomorrow? Okay. Because I want to talk about every single page of your book. Look at you. You're such a good student. You guys don't understand. We're going to talk about the book, unsingle, |
| 0:39.4 | how to date smarter and create a love that lasts. Create love that last. I have never read |
| 0:46.3 | through a book this intently. Oh my gosh. I usually, I'm revealing my secrets, but I have a really bad memory |
| 0:54.7 | So usually when I have an author on the podcast |
| 0:56.6 | I wake up at like 7 a.m. that morning |
| 0:59.4 | and I kind of skimmed through the entire book that morning. |
| 1:03.0 | At 9 p.m. last night I got into bed with this book |
| 1:05.5 | and that was my plan. |
| 1:08.5 | And I started reading it and I went to bed at one because I could not put it down. |
| 1:13.7 | Oh my gosh. |
| 1:14.8 | And I've never, I've never done this. |
| 1:18.0 | I've never sticky noted an entire book. |
| 1:20.7 | I ran out of sticky notes doing this. |
| 1:23.5 | There's so much in here. |
| 1:25.1 | Like if I could gift this to every single, single person I know, every single person |
| 1:29.4 | listening, I would. |
| 1:30.7 | Thank you. |
| 1:31.6 | I'm so proud of you. |
| 1:32.9 | And I thank you for putting all, like, your years, decades of work into this book. |
| 1:39.5 | It is truly a gift. |
... |
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