You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast.

Hey there. So today we are going to talk about one of my favorite favorite subjects, boundaries.

Now, listen, I am not going to lie to you and I love keeping it real with you.

Boundaries are hard. They kind of suck. They're difficult to implement.

I still have to implement boundaries and every time I'm like, oh, really? Do I really have to say no or can I make?

I'm going to upset this person or I'm going to ruffle some feathers. Why do I have to say anything at all?

But here's the deal. Boundaries really honor who we are, our morals and values and what we're okay with and what we're not okay with.

And particularly when you love someone suffering from addiction, boundaries is one of like the top three tools you need to master.

Because I bet you are a nurturing, loving, caretaking human being that has a tendency to put everybody's needs before their own and kind of allows some poor behavior in your life because you either justify it.

Like you tell yourself, well, it's really not that bad. I'm probably being dramatic. I should be probably a little bit if I was just a little bit more laid back, I would be okay with this.

Or if you're loved one or someone in your life breaks your boundaries, you try to fix it. So you take ownership and you blame yourself and then you try to fix it for them, right?

So if you are a person who says, I actually don't know what a boundary is, but I think I have an issue with that. Then this is it for you today. I'm talking to you because a lot of people get confused about boundaries. They actually don't really know what they are.

And the way I like to describe a boundary is a line in the sand. It's a line in the sand that if it's crossed, it's breaking a boundary. And your line in the sand represents different, it represents your morals or your values.

So today, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions that are going to help you see what your boundaries are.

And you need to be creative with this. You need to be honest. I always ask you to be honest with yourself about what is and what isn't okay in your life.

You're going to have to be willing to let go of what your mom told you, what your dad's told you, what your best friend has told you or your loved ones told you, this is about you being real with yourself and asking yourself, what am I okay with and what am I not okay with in my life.

And then I'm going to give you an example of a poor boundary and a good boundary. And I'm even going to give you the words to say to practice because if there's one thing I know for sure, it is that boundaries take practice.

And it is okay to fail in verbally communicating with them because they're difficult and we stumble and that's part of the game. It's part of the gig and it's completely normal.

So let me start by asking you some boundary questions. And again, this is typically a 30 minute podcast. I have a whole program on the website that deals with boundaries that goes into far more greater detail.

It's like hours and it's fun. Don't worry. It is not boring. I promise. But this is just like a high level brief boundary lesson. Okay.

So what are boundaries? We explain that there were lines in the sand and they represent our morals and values. So if someone crosses the our moral or value, then we they've broken our boundary for everyone of you listening, your boundaries are going to be different.

There's no right or wrong boundary. That's the beauty of it. Like if you told me one of your boundaries, I would have no judgment on what is or isn't okay with you because you're your own individual. And so for example, how about if somebody raises their voice at you. Okay.

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