So how can you be surrounded by people who care about you, say they love you, and really do love you,

and still feel like love somehow isn't landing? Like you're unloved, maybe even unlovable. And how can that

change? That question has been a deep curiosity of mind for years because it's also such a common

story. And because when love

doesn't register, it doesn't just hurt emotionally. It turns out it actually shapes our health,

our sense of belonging, and how safe we feel being ourselves. Today's conversation is with

psychologist Harry Reese, who has spent decades studying close relationships, intimacy, and emotional connection.

And he's also the co-author of How to Feel Loved, a research-grounded exploration of why feeling

loved is not automatic, even when love is clearly present.

We talk about a powerful back-and-forth dynamic that determines whether love is felt or missed,

and why giving more doesn't always

lead to closeness and how listening with real curiosity, it just changes the emotional

texture of relationships and why being known matters more than being impressive.

This is one of those conversations that just quietly rearranges how you see your relationships.

So excited to share this conversation with you.

I'm Jonathan Fields, and this is Good Life Project.

I have had a deep fascination with how people build relationships for probably my entire adult life

in all different contexts,

whether it's loving intimate partners, whether it's friends, whether it's family, chosen family,

colleagues. There's just such a growing body of research that shows that the depth and quality

of our relationships are so determinative of a life well lived. You have been in this field for a long

time researching, exploring, writing. In the new

...