All right, welcome to The Man Talk Show. I'm Connor Beaton, and today I'm going to answer a question

that I get all the time from men, from women. Really, I mean, just I get this question probably a few

times a week. The question is, why can't I stop thinking about my ex? And sometimes it's a year ago,

and the recent question that I got was, why can't I start thinking about my ex from five years ago?

They're always on my mind and I can't seem to move past the relationship.

And so as the Canadian poet Rupi Kaur says, and hopefully I said that right, people go, but how they left always stays. People go, but how they left always stays.

And so us not being able to move past a relationship, thinking about our X years later, is almost always

indicative of the manner in which the ending of the relationship happened.

So, for example, if your relationship ended in infidelity and your partner cheated or you cheated

and there was not really a resolution to that infidelity, we can recall that relationship

for years to come, ruminating on what could I

have done differently, what could I have said, who could I have become, how could I have handled

that differently? And that's just one example, right? Another example is maybe you didn't want

the relationship to end. And your partner at the time is the one that ended the relationship.

We can, again, our mind can cling to the fear of the unknown, right?

The unknown variables.

Maybe you didn't get closure in that relationship.

And so your mind is continuously returning to that unknown variable, trying to solve some

heart math, you know, some emotional equation of why did this happen?

I don't understand.

And it's these mysteries that often cause us the most rumination in life.

I mean, you think about the ponderings of existence in

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