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On Health

Why You Can’t Spoil Your Baby: The Science of Nurture and The Truth About Sleep Training with Greer Kirshenbaum

On Health

Aviva Romm

Health & Fitness, Arts, Alternative Health, Medicine

4.81.4K Ratings

🗓️ 12 February 2025

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“You’re holding your baby too much.” “Just let them cry it out.” “You’ll spoil them if you respond every time they cry.”

If you’ve ever heard these words—or wondered yourself whether nurturing your baby too much could backfire—you’re not alone. But the science is clear: responding to and connecting with our babies doesn’t spoil them; it builds their brains for lifelong emotional resilience and mental health.

In this episode of On Health, I’m joined by neuroscientist, doula, and infant sleep specialist Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum, author of The Nurture Revolution: Grow Your Baby’s Brain and Transform Their Mental Health. We’re diving into:

  • Why babies need co-regulation, not early independence
  • The neuroscience behind sleep training—and why much of it conflicts with infant brain development
  • How small, intentional nurturing acts can buffer against stress and even heal intergenerational trauma

And because so many parents today are raising children without the village we deserve, we’ll also talk about what it means to nurture our babies—and ourselves—sustainably.

If you’ve ever felt torn between instinct and conventional parenting advice, this episode will give you clarity, confidence, and science-backed reassurance. Tune in now.

Links and Resources


Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

The Mama Pathway is not your average childbirth education program. It's a powerful virtual membership community and online education experience where traditional midwifery wisdom and modern medicine meet to support you on your most empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Go to avivaromm.com/mama-pathway to learn more

Mentioned in this episode:

The Mama Pathway is not your average childbirth education program. It's a powerful virtual membership community and online education experience where traditional midwifery wisdom and modern medicine meet to support you on your most empowered path through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. Go to https://avivaromm.com/mama-pathway to learn more

Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

From the stuff your mother never told you to the stuff your doctor never learn.

0:09.0

On health is what happens when a midwife plus a Yale trained MD shares about all things

0:14.3

women's health.

0:15.4

From periods to menopause, sex to reproductive health politics, motherhood to mental health,

0:23.1

join me for taboo-busting conversations that demystify and destigmatize our bodies, all while bridging the gap between conventional

0:28.4

medicine and wellness. Along the way, we'll be exploring the science and wisdom of how our bodies

0:33.5

work, what makes us well, what gets in the way, and how we can live our best lives on our

0:39.2

terms. When it comes to women's health and well-being, there's nothing we won't talk about.

0:44.0

The new medicine for women is here. I'm Dr. Avivaram. Welcome to the podcast.

0:59.5

Hey, everyone, and welcome back to on health for women.

1:03.7

I remember it so well as a young mama.

1:04.8

It feels like it was yesterday.

1:15.3

So many times that my mother-in-law or my mom or even a well-meaning but definitely interfering friend told me I was holding my baby too much. I should just let my baby cry it out or that I was going to spoil my

1:20.9

baby by nursing him even when he was hungry. Perhaps you've heard some of these comments or even wondered yourself in a sea of conflicting

1:30.5

parenting information and maybe in moments of being overwhelmed yourself.

1:36.3

Believe me, I've been there.

1:37.7

Like when you're exhausted and so tired of trying to figure out how to get your baby to sleep

1:42.0

because all you need is a minute alone.

1:44.5

And you do start wondering, what can I do about sleep training? Or maybe I just need to let the

1:49.2

baby cry it out. I was really fortunate and in an extremely unusual situation to also be a young

1:57.1

midwife at the same time that I was starting my mothering journey. So I was raising my oldest

2:04.3

kids while also studying birth and mothering anthropology practices around the world. So I knew what

...

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