Why You Blame Yourself for Everything

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 658 Ratings

🗓️ 5 September 2024

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Join our membership here: https://therapyinanutshell.com/member Get the How to Process Emotions course here: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/emotion-processing In this podcast, you’ll learn why you might blame yourself for everything, how this can be a trauma response from your childhood, and how to stop doing it. And we’re going to use Batman as an example. It’s clear to see how taking the mental shortcut of “It’s all my fault” is actually a much easier route than the emotional gymnastics of figuring out why people do bad things. But, if we keep blaming ourselves over time, we can end up feeling guilty, ashamed, depressed, or angry. So in this podcast, we’ll explore this common cognitive distortion of self-blame and some practical ways to replace it with more helpful thinking. Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to another episode of the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast. I'm Emma McAdam and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist.
0:07.0	And this podcast is all about taking the life-changing, but usually kind of complicated topics of therapy and boiling them down into simple, easy-to-understand concepts that you can use in your daily life.
0:18.8	If you find today's episode is helpful to you,
0:21.0	please pass it on to someone else who could benefit from it as well. Each podcast episode
0:24.9	comes from a corresponding video you can find on the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube channel.
0:29.2	Also, these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction you may be receiving
0:34.1	from a therapist or other health professionals. Now please enjoy the episode.
0:37.9	In this video you'll learn why you might blame yourself for everything, how this can be a
0:42.8	trauma response from your childhood, and how to stop doing it. And we're going to use Batman as an
0:48.4	example. I'm Batman. But first, have you ever taken a shortcut even though you weren't really
0:54.1	supposed to? I mean,
0:55.6	it seems like way too much effort to walk around this, so of course I'm going to take the shortcut
1:00.3	too. No big deal. Here's the thing. Your brain does this all the time. It takes these little
1:06.3	shortcuts to save on time and energy. And while cutting across the grass causes a little bit of harm,
1:11.8	there are some types of brain shortcuts that can cause a lot of harm, especially in the way you
1:17.3	process trauma. So let me give you an example. Let's say your little kid, you spill the milk.
1:22.1	Your dad blows up at you and yells, what's the matter with you? Why'd you do that? Which one's
1:27.4	easier for a kid
1:28.4	to think hmm my parent doesn't seem safe I wonder about the difficulties of being
1:34.0	an adult and the nuances of simultaneously being a good person while also making a
1:38.9	bunch of mistakes or thinking ah it's all my fault it's clear to see how taking the mental shortcut of it's all my fault. It's clear to see how taking the mental shortcut of,
1:45.7	it's all my fault, is actually a much easier route than the emotional gymnastics of figuring out
	...

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