Why were you banned from a store or restaurant?

I once got barred from a pub for burping.

I'm not crapping you. It was in the Conan Doyle pub in Edinburgh years ago.

Our small group wasn't being disruptive or anything. My burp wasn't some intentional obnoxious

display behaviour intended to unsettle other people. It was actually quite discreet and

simply the result of drinking carbonated beverages with nothing more to it than that.

But we were sitting near the bar, the barman heard and we all got thrown out, and for objecting to it, initially thinking it was a bad joke.

I got no crap full-on barred. Like I say, it wasn't some over-the-top eruption of a belch.

It was the same kind you'd let

loose in front of your own mother, followed by a quiet, excuse me. I thought at the time the barman

was being a neurotic, over-assertive idiot, and my own time as a barman in the years since,

has only served to reinforce that impression. I got banned from the mall when I was younger

because I wore an inappropriate shirt that I bought in the same mall.

I had a Harry Potter wand keychain confiscated at TSA, the US airport security earlier this year.

I brought it in the same airport within the security zone on my last flight before that.

Yeah, well, what have you started casting spells and stuff?

I'm banned from a bar that a friend owns. I've played music in it at a steep discount because we were friends,

donated to their fundraisers, got them loads of vintage glassware to use for free,

promoted their events, even the ones with other musicians playing. It's because his wife can't

stand the fact that he and I dated briefly

35 years ago. She melts down whenever anything triggers her about it and makes his life miserable.

I had no idea. Apparently they were dating 30 years ago and broke up because he had to get a rain

...