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SOLVED with Mark Manson

Why We Stay in Bad Relationships, Solved

SOLVED with Mark Manson

Mark Manson

Self-improvement, Education

4.94.1K Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2026

⏱️ 111 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why do smart, emotionally aware people stay in relationships that are clearly destroying them? Drew and I dug into the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard marriage, to walk through the seven psychological mechanisms that quietly lock people inside bad relationships and make leaving feel impossible. If you have ever watched someone you love stay in a relationship that is destroying them, or if you have been that person yourself, this episode will shine a lot of light on what is really going on under the hood. Get your free episode guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/bad-relationships/ • Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩ • Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get 7 days free at purpose.app⁩/solved Check out our sponsors: • Master Class: Get 15% off any annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/solved • Ultra Pouches: Use code SOLVED to get 15% off at https://www.takeultra.com • Factor: Head to ⁠https://www.factormeals.com/solved202650off and use code solved202650off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only • Wealthfront: Wealthfront’s high-yield cash account: ⁠https://www.wealthfront.com/solved⁠ Chapters: 0:00:00 CHAPTER 1: Why Smart People Stay in Bad Relationships 0:04:00 CHAPTER 2: The Johnny Depp and Amber Heard Backstory 0:14:30 CHAPTER 3: Mechanism 1 — Normalization 0:27:00 CHAPTER 4: Mechanism 2 — The Identity Trap 0:41:30 CHAPTER 5: Mechanism 3 — The Slot Machine Effect 0:51:30 CHAPTER 6: Mechanism 4 — Cognitive Dissonance 1:01:30 CHAPTER 7: Mechanism 5 — The Sunk Cost Fallacy 1:10:30 CHAPTER 8: Mechanism 6 — The Guilt Cage 1:16:00 CHAPTER 9: Mechanism 7 — The Terror of the Void 1:24:00 CHAPTER 10: The Aftermath of Johnny and Amber 1:30:00 CHAPTER 11: How to Counteract Each Mechanism Wealthfront Details and Disclosure: Wealthfront’s high-yield cash account: https://www.wealthfront.com/solved. This experience may not be representative of other Wealthfront clients, and there is no guarantee of future performance or success. Experiences will vary. Mark Manson, who is not a Wealthfront client,  receives cash compensation from Wealthfront Brokerage for paid endorsement in his podcast, creating a conflict of interest. More details available via the referral link. The Cash Account, which is not a deposit account, is offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC ("Wealthfront Brokerage"), Member FINRA/SIPC. Wealthfront Brokerage is not a bank. The Annual Percentage Yield ("APY") on cash deposits as of January 30, 2026 is representative, requires no minimum, and may change at any time. References to the APY for the Wealthfront Cash Account, including any APY increase, are to the APY paid by insured depository institutions that participate in our cash sweep program (the "Program Banks”). Wealthfront Brokerage does not pay interest. Funds in the Cash Account are swept to Program Banks where they earn a variable APY and are eligible for FDIC insurance. Conditions apply. For a list of Program Banks, see: www.wealthfront.com/programbanks. FDIC pass-through insurance, which protects against the failure of Program Banks, not Wealthfront, is not provided until the funds arrive at the Program Banks. While funds are at Wealthfront Brokerage, and while they are transitioning to and/or from Wealthfront Brokerage to the Program Banks, the funds are eligible for SIPC protection up to the $250,000 limit for cash. FDIC insurance is limited to $250,000 per customer, per bank, regardless of whether those deposits are placed through Wealthfront Brokerage. You are responsible for monitoring your total deposits at each Program Bank to stay within FDIC limits. Wealthfront works with multiple Program Banks to make available up to $8 million ($16 million for joint accounts) of pass-through FDIC coverage for your cash deposits. For more info on FDIC insurance coverage, visit www.FDIC.gov. If eligible for the overall boosted rate of 4.05% offered in connection with this promo, your boosted rate is also subject to change if the base rate decreases during the 3 month promo period. Additional terms and conditions apply, which can be found on wealthfront.com/solved.  Same-day withdrawal or instant payment transfers may be limited by destination institutions, daily transaction caps, and by participating entities such as Wells Fargo, the RTP® Network, and FedNow® Service. New Cash Account deposits are subject to a 2-4 day holding period before becoming available for transfer. Investment advisory services are provided by Wealthfront Advisers LLC, an SEC-registered investment adviser. Securities investments: not bank deposits, bank-guaranteed or FDIC-insured, and may lose value.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Some follow the noise.

0:03.3

Bloomberg follows the money.

0:05.4

Because behind every headline is a bottom line.

0:09.3

Whether it's the funds fueling AI or crypto's trillion dollar swings,

0:13.8

there's a money side to every story.

0:16.5

And when you see the money side, you understand what others miss.

0:22.3

Get the money side of the story.

0:25.3

Subscribe now at Bloomberg.com.

0:29.0

Drew, you're still sick.

0:29.7

I don't.

0:31.1

Spoiler alert.

0:34.4

We recorded the last episode two hours ago.

0:34.8

That's right.

0:36.1

But you're still sick.

0:56.3

I continue to be sick. Why? I don't know. I never get sick either. This is weird. This is highly inconsiderate of our production schedule. I know. I don't appreciate your... I don't appreciate it. You don't appreciate it. Well, I would appreciate it if you'd stop being sick by the end of this episode.

0:57.1

I'll do my best.

0:58.5

Yeah, get to work on that.

1:01.3

This is our version of an abusive, toxic relationship.

1:05.5

That you are unable to leave.

1:08.5

Trapped.

1:10.1

You are trapped.

1:12.6

That is what we're talking about today, everybody. If you have ever watched somebody you care about and you love,

...

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