Why We Love the Way We Do (Attachment Styles Explained)
Scheananigans with Scheana Shay
Dear Media
3.0 • 8.8K Ratings
🗓️ 30 January 2026
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Attachment styles are everywhere — but what do they actually mean, and how much do they shape the way we love? This week, Scheana is joined by leading attachment theory expert Thais Gibson (founder of The Personal Development School) to break down the four attachment styles, why our adult relationships mirror our earliest bonds, and how insecurity shows up in communication, conflict, and connection. Scheana opens up about learning she’s securely attached, while her husband Brock discovered he has a fearful avoidant attachment style — sparking an honest conversation about what it really takes to make different styles work together.
Thais explains why attachment styles aren’t fixed, how patterns like people-pleasing, self-sabotage, and emotional withdrawal form, and what actually helps move toward secure attachment. This episode isn’t about labels or blame — it’s about awareness, responsibility, and doing the work. If you’ve ever wondered why certain relationship patterns keep repeating, this conversation might explain everything.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a Dear Media production. |
| 0:14.0 | From Vanderpump rules to motherhood and everywhere in between. |
| 0:19.1 | Warm up the kettle. It's time to spill some tea. |
| 0:22.6 | Let's get into some shenanigans with Sheena Shea. |
| 0:26.2 | Because we're good as good. |
| 0:30.9 | Because we're good as good. |
| 0:34.3 | Because we're good as go. |
| 0:38.2 | Hello, everyone, and welcome back for another week of shenanigans. |
| 0:42.7 | So last night I was talking to a close friend of mine, and he told me that his relationship |
| 0:49.9 | had just ended recently because they had different attachment styles. |
| 0:54.1 | When he said that, it really stopped me in my tracks. |
| 0:58.0 | This is something that I've heard about a lot. |
| 1:00.6 | I've heard the terms attachment styles. |
| 1:03.1 | I just assumed I was an anxious attachment style because I'm an anxious person. |
| 1:08.7 | But I didn't actually understand what it meant on a deeper level. |
| 1:14.6 | And he was one of the only people I've talked to about attachment styles. So started doing |
| 1:19.5 | some research, started listening to some audio books and whatnot. And the relationships around |
| 1:24.5 | me, just like asking myself, you know, how much does this really affect |
| 1:29.0 | how we love, how we communicate, and whether things last. And I'll be honest. I feel like I've |
| 1:36.7 | heard a lot of surface level information about attachment styles on social media, on podcasts, |
| 1:42.2 | and conversations. I think sometimes people just take terms and they |
| 1:45.8 | use them really lightly when people are like, oh, I'm a little bit OCD. It's like, no, you either are |
... |
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