Hey, today we're going to talk about why we keep going back to them. Do you ever wonder, why do I keep

going back to someone who hurts me so much? There are many reasons we stay, but today I'm going to be

vulnerable with you and share with you why I deeply

loved a man who clearly didn't love me or himself enough to get sober. I kept going back because of his

potential. I loved his potential. I was married to a great guy. He was funny,

he was charming, he was smart, and he was very good looking. He had it all the full package, and my big and sensitive heart could see very, very

clearly all of his goodness. Honestly, it didn't feel like I had a choice but to love him.

I was a magnet to his potential. I thought that if he could just be

loving and wonderful all the time, our lives would be amazing. And the truth is, if he got sober,

they may have been. But maybe not. I have a friend whose husband was

sober for over 10 years, but he was still very narcissistic, and his decisions were made from a very

self-centered place. So getting sober does not guarantee an amazing life.

The truth is, if you don't really know how they would be if your partner gets sober for the rest of their lives,

the image that we have of their potential

might not be the most truthful or realistic.

I kept going back to this unhealthy relationship

because I was scared of being alone. For so long, all of my energy was

focused on him. Even when things got really bad and they got really bad, I would suffer

and I would put up with the crap because my fear kept me stuck. I was afraid

that no one else would want me. I was afraid that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.

And I was afraid that my kids would blame me. I wasn't sure how I was going to pay the bills

because I didn't have any money and I didn't even know where I would live. I knew that I couldn't

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