Why We Go Along with Things We Don’t Like (Sunita Sah, PhD)

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Elise Loehnen

Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Self-improvement, Education

4.8 • 900 Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why do we go along with situations that make us comfortable? What can we learn from nervous laughter, or a crocodile smile? If we’ve been conditioned to be overly compliant, how do we learn to be a little more defiant? How do we intuit when it’s the right time for us to comply, and when we’re better off defying? Sunita Sah—trained physician, Cornell University professor, organizational psychologist, and author of Defy—answers these questions and more. For the show notes and links to Sunita Sah’s work, head over to my Substack. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, it's Elise Linen, host of Pulling the Thread.
0:03.5	My guest today is Dr. Sunita Saw, the author of Defi,
0:07.5	the power of no in a world that demands yes.
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0:39.7	Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup. Hi, it's Elise Lunan host of the Thread. On this show, we pull apart the web in which we all live to understand who we are and why we're here. My hope is that these conversations spark moments of resonance and plant tiny seeds of awareness so that we might all collectively learn and grow.
1:13.6	Here is today's guest Sunita Saw on what we sacrifice by being so compliant.
1:18.6	Often we don't think about the consequences of being compliant as well because there is a cost
1:25.6	to always disregarding your values and bowing your head to other people.
1:30.8	And that cost can also be pretty intense and soul-destrying when we constantly give away our values.
1:38.5	So we need to understand those costs and know when we're ready to take them on board.
1:45.9	Sunita Saw is a trained physician and a tenured professor and organizational psychologist at Cornell University. She has done
1:52.1	some of the most fascinating research on defiance, advice, and influence. And she's distilled much of it
1:58.6	into her new book, Defy, The Power of No in a World that
2:02.3	Demands Yes. Not surprisingly, I find her work extremely compelling. Today, we talk about how many
2:09.6	of us have been conditioned to be good and quiet and what the cost of being so compliant actually is.
2:16.1	Sunita explains why she no longer sees compliance and defiance as binary, and why defiance
2:21.9	is not a character trait, but a skill that any one of us can learn and choose to use or not.
	...

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