Why We Don’t Do What We Know We Should: Beliefs, Habits, and AI Practice with Nir Eyal 8|4

Radical Candor: Communication at Work

Radical Candor

Careers, Relationships, Society & Culture, Business

4.7 • 740 Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2026

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if the reason you don’t give feedback, follow through, or change your habits… isn’t willpower? What if it’s a belief? In this episode of The Radical Candor Podcast, Kim Scott talks with Nir Eyal — author of Hooked, Indistractable, and his new book Beyond Belief — about the hidden force behind motivation: the stories we tell ourselves. They explore: Why AI can’t replace human relationships — but can help us practice hard conversations The limiting belief that keeps people silent at work Why knowing what to do isn’t enough How pain (not pleasure) drives behavior The difference between addiction and habit Why “time management is pain management.” How to reinterpret anxiety as readiness And why beliefs are tools — not truths If you’ve ever struggled to speak up, follow through, or break a bad habit — this conversation will help you see what’s really getting in the way.Chapters (00:00) Introduction Kim welcomes Nir Eyal and introduces AI portraits and scaling human insight. (04:30) Can AI Replace Relationships? Why AI can’t replace human connection — but may be the safest place to practice hard conversations. (10:15) Refining AI Voice & Identity What it means to “scale yourself” without losing your humanity. (16:40) The Limiting Belief That Keeps You Silent “If you don’t have anything nice to say…” — and why that belief causes harm. (23:10) Beliefs Are Tools, Not Truths Nir explains the core thesis of Beyond Belief. (29:30) Placebos, Pain, and Perception What belief can change — and what it can’t. (36:20) Stage Fright vs. Readiness Reinterpreting anxiety as oxygen for performance. (43:10) Time Management Is Pain Management Why distraction is about escaping discomfort. (50:40) Addiction vs. Habit Why addiction is about escaping pain — not seeking pleasure. (57:00) Why We Don’t Do What We Know The missing link between knowledge and action. (01:04:00) Radical Candor and the “Nice” Trap The story of Bob — and why staying silent isn’t kind. (01:10:00) If It’s Yellow, Let It Mellow Marriage, feedback, and choosing what truly matters. (01:13:00) Conclusion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Could AI help you do more of what you love?
0:03.1	Workday is the next-gen ERP powered by AI that actually knows your business.
0:08.4	We help you handle the have-to-dos so you can focus on the can't-wait-to-dos.
0:13.2	It's a new workday.
0:19.5	Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Radical Candor podcast. I'm Kim Scott, author of Radical
0:26.5	Candor and Radical Respect. And with me is the fabulous Mir Ayal. Welcome, Neer.
0:32.4	Thank you so much. Great to be here with you, Kim. And my name is Neer Ayal. I'm the author of
0:36.5	Hooked, How to Build Habit Forming Products,
0:38.5	and Indistractable, How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. And you have a fourth coming book. Are you allowed to- I do? I have another book coming out in March, yeah. Called Beyond Belief. Excellent. Well, I'm excited to hear about all three things. But first, let's talk about AI, because you can't avoid AI in this moment in time.
1:00.7	So I want to talk about your portrait.
1:02.6	You recently launched a portrait.
1:04.5	I recently launched a portrait with Google.
1:08.4	So I have all my reasons, and I have some new reasons as well. But what are your
1:12.9	reasons for launching your Google portrait? Yeah, big picture. It was a way to help me reach more
1:19.6	people to kind of scale the research I've done. Right now, the way to get that research is to
1:24.8	read the books, of course. Or you could give me a call and we could talk, but that sometimes will take a while or as expensive. So this was a way to kind of scale out so that if you have a quick question or you want to run something through one of my models, you can ask that question. And it's been great, actually. I've really enjoyed the, you know, we get feedback on what kind of questions are being asked. And it's really nice to see what
1:44.6	topics keep coming up. It's a good source of new writing and new inspiration. It's been pretty
1:49.9	great. What's been your experience? Same. I have loved it. I initially was really excited about
1:56.5	doing it ever since radical candor came out. I mean, in some senses, I wrote radical candor
2:01.7	because I'm a human being and human beings don't scale. And I was coached to a couple of people
2:09.1	here in Silicon Valley. And some of them talked about it in the press. And then I had a lot of
2:14.4	requests to be coach. And I couldn't, I find that you can't really
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