Why We Care What Other People Think: Unraveling Our Need for Approval and Validation

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 668 Ratings

🗓️ 7 February 2024

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Tony Overbay, LMFT, tackles the timeless question, "Why do we care so much about what others think?" Offering insights on halting the cycle of worrying over others' opinions, Tony emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself (and ponders, "Who am I, really?"). He explores finding that sweet spot between valuing the world's input and heeding our inner voice—the one who truly knows us best. Tony illustrates that while the opinions of others can offer some worth, there's a limit to their significance. Ultimately, we have the fantastic opportunity to be captains of our ships, navigating through rough seas and basking in sunny skies alike. Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $20. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ 00:00 Introduction: The Big Question 00:46 Welcome to the Virtual Couch 00:57 Therapeutic Tools: Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 01:48 Valentine's Day Special: Mini Course and Game 02:53 Why Do We Care So Much About What Others Think? 11:20 The Power of Projection and Shadow Self 17:06 Understanding and Accepting Your Shadow Self 20:18 Setting Healthy Boundaries 21:40 You Are Not the Center of the Universe 22:16 Understanding Our Place in the Universe 23:04 Exploring the Concept of Solipsism 24:27 The Reality of Other People's Existence 25:45 The Impact of Caring Too Much About Others' Opinions 26:59 The Importance of Authenticity and Individuality 28:48 The Consequences of Worrying About Others' Opinions 30:11 Trusting Your Instincts and Navigating Life 32:56 Balancing External Advice with Internal Compass 35:55 Understanding the Persona and Authenticity 42:38 Embracing Your Whole Self and Authentic Connections 43:34 Conclusion: The Value of Self-Understanding and Authenticity

Transcript

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0:00.0	So not too long ago, I received an email. It was a question and it didn't seem like a very
0:05.3	difficult one on the surface, but I have sat on this question for months and I've had,
0:10.7	have many Google documents up. This Google document has been up for so long because I keep adding
0:16.2	to the concepts. Let me just get to the question. Why do we care so much about what others think?
0:21.5	And isn't it good to care at least a little bit? We're going to talk about that and go into so
0:27.0	many different concepts and thoughts and beliefs around why we do care about what others think and
0:32.4	is a little bit of it good for you. Here's this little sneak preview. It can be. And we're going
0:37.2	to talk about that and so
0:38.0	much more coming up on today's episode of the virtual couch.
0:44.2	Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode 412 of the virtual couch. I'm your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed
0:52.3	marriage and family therapist and a certified
0:54.5	mindful habit coach. But first, I just want to say, as I've been journeying through the world of
0:59.6	therapy over the past 15 plus years, working now with well over a thousand couples, I've been
1:03.5	fortunate enough to develop and road test very cool tools that I know can help change marriages
1:09.6	and relationships for the better.
1:11.5	These aren't just any tools.
1:13.0	They are the result of seeing what real couples actually need.
1:16.0	And my true star pupil, my opus, my very own golden child of the therapeutic tools are my four pillars of a connected conversation.
1:25.6	And I can honestly say, you know, trust me,
1:28.8	these pillars are game changers for communication, but they are definitely not something that we
1:33.8	are born knowing how to do. They aren't part of our factory settings. They're definitely
1:38.4	something that we don't know that we don't even know. But the good news is learning the four
	...

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