Why We Avoid Uncertainty (And How That Gets In Our Way)

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Kids & Family, Comedy, Parenting

4.8 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 8 April 2026

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why do we cling to what’s familiar—even when it’s not working? In this episode we explore why humans are wired to avoid uncertainty, and how that shapes our decisions and our parenting. We discuss the Ellsberg Paradox, which explains why we often choose “the devil we know” over potentially better—but unknown—options. Whether it’s staying in a situation that no longer serves us, avoiding difficult conversations, or overthinking every possible outcome, our brains are constantly trying to reduce uncertainty—even at a cost. We discuss how the brain’s fear center (the amygdala) reacts more strongly to ambiguity than to actual risk, triggering stress responses like anxiety, overthinking, and catastrophizing. This helps explain why uncertainty can feel so overwhelming—even when nothing is actually wrong. We discuss Dr. Rue Wilson's notion of “toxic time travel" and how our search for reassurance pulls us out of the present into either mentally replaying the past or imagining worst-case futures, keeping us stuck in cycles of worry. We also explore how this shows up in parenting. Kids who resist new situations, struggle with transitions, or seem overly anxious may not be reacting to real danger—but to uncertainty itself. Understanding this can help us respond with more empathy and curiosity rather than frustration. Finally, we share practical strategies for managing uncertainty—for ourselves and our kids: Separating real risk from fear of the unknown Using curiosity instead of rumination Reality-checking anxious thoughts Focusing on what’s within our control Grounding ourselves in the present moment Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: ambiguity aversion Tara Cousineau for Harvard Graduate School of Arts and Sciences: Coping with Uncertainty Lauren Arcuri for the American Physiological Society: The Brain's Response to Uncertainty and Ambiguity Gretchen Rubin: How to Make Tough Decisions: Choose the Bigger Life Dorie Clark on Instagram: Your Brain Is Lying to You About Risk What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs.
0:04.8	Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand.
0:12.4	Marketing tools that get your products out there. Integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time.
0:17.4	From startups to scaleups, online, in person, and on the go. Shopify is made for
0:22.8	entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup.
0:31.7	I'm a victim of toxic time travel, Amy. What fresh hell. Laughing in the face of motherhood.
0:38.5	Here's something to be uncertain about.
0:40.3	With Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
0:43.0	What I need to do is write a 4,000-page list.
0:48.7	A podcast that solves today's parenting dilemmas so you don't have to.
0:53.4	Why do I tend to feel this tightness in my
0:55.2	shoulders every time we talk about my brother's wedding? Hello, everyone, and welcome to what
1:02.9	fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood. This is Margaret. And this is Amy. Today,
1:07.4	we're going to talk about why we avoid uncertainty and whether that's a problem. We do when it is. How about that? We do what it is. Right, right. But I never want to assume, you know, like even when we had our guest Meredith Schwartz from the currently reading podcast. And it's like, we should all read more. I'm like, must wish, should we? Yeah, let's make sure that we agree on that.
1:34.0	So I have research. Okay. Start coming hot, Amy. What do you got for me? This episode was sort of inspired by Dory Clark. She talked about this on Instagram. Do you follow Dory Clark? She is a-
1:39.3	I have literally never heard either of those words and certainly not together. A business thinker,
1:44.0	well-known speaker. Her lane is like, find what you're really good at talking about and I'll help you figure it out. That's sort of her lane. So it's not parenting related, but she's just a great speaker and really interesting, has her like doctorate and theology, just an interesting person. All right. Who we think, why we think, how to think more deeply, that's her lame.
2:12.9	So she did this Instagram, I'll link to it in the show notes where she explained that our fear of being uncertain and of uncertainty itself makes us sometimes make lesser decisions.
2:14.9	Totally makes sense to me.
2:15.4	Cannot.
2:21.1	This is an episode for me by me. Really for me by you,
2:28.0	technically. That you choose the devil you know. Yes. Because it's the devil you know, even if there are clear downsides, even when you know like, this isn't great. I don't even love the meatloaf at this
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.